Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sjuvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!princeton!astrovax!sjuvax!jss From: jss@sjuvax.UUCP (J. Shapiro) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Compatability Message-ID: <827@sjuvax.UUCP> Date: Sat, 9-Feb-85 05:13:30 EST Article-I.D.: sjuvax.827 Posted: Sat Feb 9 05:13:30 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 11-Feb-85 05:37:00 EST References: <318@lzmi.UUCP> Organization: Saint Josephs Univ. Phila., Pa. Lines: 49 [Aren't you hungry...?] I have posted a couple of times now describing some parts of my relationship with my current SO. There are other aspects of it that are not so cheery. In spite of being at Haverford College, I am capable of being all too narrow, and at times the place is frustrating because of that. Putting up with that for the sake of a broad education was something I committed myself to when I went to H'ford. I am basically a hacker fascinated by man-machine interfaces for both non hackers and software developers (who I believe approach the computer in fundamentally different ways). There are many things I would like to explore, and all too often the computer is a tool I would use in these explorations. As a result I actively seek to make myself learn outside of the field. I suspect that 15 years down the road I will wish I had. I find that once I get started, I enjoy it. My SO is a philosopher, not in the least bit interested in computers (indeed, afraid of them). As philosophy is one of the things I am working on, we trade off back and forth at teaching each other (by the way, Macintosh's are great for computer-phobes). That works, for now, but for a while the communication was not so good, and it seemed our interests were diverging. Yet I find that having stuck to it and recognized the communication problem (and remedied parts of it - I am sure it wil return), I am learning a great deal, and enjoying the time I spend with her in her field of interest. I think that she is doing the same with mine. It is amazing to what extent philosophy relates to set theory and computers and all sorts of things. We are both finding that the introduction of outside perspectives is a wonderful thing. This won't work long term. We have different goals, and unless both of our interests broaden we should not attempt to make the relationship work as a marriage. Even so, she is a terrific lady. (besides, we are both too young). The rambling point here is that not only is it vital to actively pursue (sp?) communication, it is also vital to make sure there is something important to both of you to communicate about. It isn't just true for marriages, but for all relationships. The hard thing about it is getting the perspective on something so personal. Do I say anything new (or in a better way), or do all of you know this already? I have seen a lot of comments about commitment, and few about what is entailed in the commitment, and what prerequisites are necessary to a commitment that may work. If I am not adding something with my admittedly inexperienced perspective, I can be persuaded to listen more... Jon Shapiro Haverford College