Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site masscomp.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!masscomp!carlton
From: carlton@masscomp.UUCP (Carlton Hommel)
Newsgroups: net.abortion,net.kids
Subject: Abortion/Miscarriage Grief
Message-ID: <610@masscomp.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 9-Feb-85 19:04:19 EST
Article-I.D.: masscomp.610
Posted: Sat Feb  9 19:04:19 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 10-Feb-85 05:41:02 EST
References: <582@charm.UUCP> <709@bunker.UUCP>
Reply-To: carlton@masscomp.UUCP (Carlton Hommel)
Organization: Masscomp - Westford, MA
Lines: 35
Xref: watmath net.abortion:1237 net.kids:971

In article <709@bunker.UUCP> (Gary M. Samuelson) writes:
>> How many of you have held-- or even thought of holding-- funeral
>> services or Last Rites for an abortion?... For a stillbirth?... For a
>> miscarriage?...
>
>The women I know who have had miscarriages
>say, "I lost my baby," and have to resolve their grief just as if
>the baby had died after birth.

    You ask about my sincerity. When faced with an "unwanted" pregnancy many
years ago, I chose to have the baby and place the child up for adoption.
I really felt that by having intercourse I *did* invite the child into my
body.  No matter the precautions taken, there is always the risk of pregnancy.
    I suffered a miscarriage when I was only nine weeks along.  I felt a 
terrible amount of grief.  Did I love my baby enough?  Did I unwittingly cause
the miscarriage by not eating enough?  Working too much?  

    Today, I am married, and six months along with our son.  A few weeks ago,
I started showing signs of an impending miscarriage.  After phoning the doctor,
and making arrangements to go the the hospital (I broke down and cried) and
my husband made arrangements for a priest, baptism, last rites, and burial.
Luckily for little Carl, the placental seperation was only minor.

    I work with young women facing unwanted pregnancies at two Boston-area
pregnancy support centers.  The vast majority have had previous abortions,
and were so traumatized that they are willing to put up with the social
and familial pressures of having a baby.  All recall physical pain, and
emotional grief, at the hands of the 'fast-food' abortion clinics.

Post followups to only net.kids or net.abortion, depending on the slant
of your response.

	Alana Hommel
New Father: Saying you're going to get pregnant *afterward* does no good!!
New Mother: Well, I did whisper it in your ear when I was nibbling on it....