Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site lcuxc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!mhuxn!mhuxb!mhuxr!ulysses!gamma!pyuxww!lcuxc!kenw From: kenw@lcuxc.UUCP (K Wolman) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: General Patton & The N.Y. "Times" (pun at end!) Message-ID: <228@lcuxc.UUCP> Date: Thu, 7-Feb-85 08:54:22 EST Article-I.D.: lcuxc.228 Posted: Thu Feb 7 08:54:22 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 9-Feb-85 05:39:52 EST Organization: Bell Communications Research, Piscataway, NJ Lines: 36 During the invasion of Sicily in World War II, General George ("Blood 'n' Guts") Patton was preparing to take the city of Palermo. He checked with his meteorologists and learned the day he had chosen would be incredibly rainy. So he issued an order to place copies of the New York "Times" immediately beneath the tailgates of the transports carrying his troops. In this way the men could keep their feet dry. His staff was mystified. Why the "Times"? Why not the New York "Daily News"? Patton was adamant; and one did not argue with the General. As five tons of old copies of the "Times" were being loaded, the General issued one of his greatest quotes to the assembled war correspondents: "THESE ARE THE 'TIMES' THAT DRY MEN'S SOLES." [. . . for THIS I logged on this morning? . . .] -- Ken Wolman Bell Communications Research @ Livingston, N.J. lcuxc!kenw (201) 740-4565 Kol machalokes shehi l'shaem shamayim, sofo l'hiskayaem; v'sheana l'shaem shamayim, ayn sofo l'hiskayaem.