Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site yale.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!mhuxn!mhuxm!mhuxj!houxm!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!tektronix!decvax!yale!scott From: scott@yale.ARPA (Walter Scott) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: SO extensions (terminalology) Message-ID: <455@yale.ARPA> Date: Sun, 3-Feb-85 20:42:38 EST Article-I.D.: yale.455 Posted: Sun Feb 3 20:42:38 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 8-Feb-85 03:28:56 EST References: <1613@ittvax.UUCP> <1969@sun.uucp> Reply-To: scott@yale-comix.UUCP (Walter Scott) Distribution: net Organization: Yale University CS Dept., New Haven CT Lines: 63 In article <1969@sun.uucp> sunny@sun.uucp (Sunny Kirsten) writes: > OSO - Other Signifigant Other > If your #1 mate is your "SO", then > your #2-#n mate is "OSO", your other signifigant other(s) > > I'm serious about the need for this one, and would be glad of > feedback on alternatives to describe this situation. > >Dealing with your "SO" when adding a new "OSO": > > Having just spent a signifigant part of a weekend dealing with >this problem, I was wondering what experiences / lessons others might have >had. Hooray! I was wondering whether everyone on this net only had SOships within the "socially acceptable norms." Glad to see someone else out there has had a similar experience. I agree with the terminology of OSO for #2 through #n SOs. It seems to correlate with the way my relationships have worked out in my mind. I can visualize a scale within my mind of "specialness" for every person that I know, and if I look at the top of the scale I see at the peak my #1 SO, and then after much distance, my #2 SO, or OSO, and then after even more distance, everyone else. I have been in the situation of having 2 SOs for about 2 months now, and now that things have pretty much settled down, I offer some observations: Certainly none of us could have predicted it happening. My SO and OSO were already very close friends before I knew either one of them, and the three of us ended up doing things together, and we more or less naturally fell into a menage a trois. SInce all three of us are mostly heterosexual (oh yes, I'm male, they're female), things generally drifted towards the situation as it now stands, my SO and OSO as close friends but each of them in a close sexual relationship with me. Reactions, feelings of each of us: My SO was nervous for a little while, but once it became clear that she was still my #1, so to speak, and that no outside relationships were going to change that, she felt better. On the whole I think that my having an OSO for various reasons has enhanced my realationship with my SO. Neither my SO nor I are the posessive or jealous types; if something on the same order happened to her, I'd be all for it. My OSO wonderful human being that she is has no designs of trying to undermine my relationship with my SO, or "replace" her. She loves both me and my SO too much anyway. So she's quite happy with the way things are. I, needless to say, am confused but very happy. I hope that this situation lasts. The time element seems to be no problem; I have enough time in the week to see both of them to my hearts content. Really the only "problem" or difficulty, and it is really only on the order of a minor annoyance, is dealing with the rest of society. For example, my roommate has met my SO but not my OSO. It feels strange having to be discreet or evasive around roommates, friends, parents, etc. just because polygamy in this society is seen by many people as "abnormal" or even "immoral." What a strange world this is.... Love to all, Walter Scott