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From: tron@fluke.UUCP (Peter Barbee)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: How durable are marriages today?
Message-ID: <882@vax1.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 8-Feb-85 12:32:13 EST
Article-I.D.: vax1.882
Posted: Fri Feb  8 12:32:13 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 11-Feb-85 07:08:20 EST
References: <295@stat-l> <1117@houxm.UUCP> <2315@nsc.UUCP> <1617@ittvax.UUCP>
Reply-To: tron@fluke.UUCP (Peter Barbee)
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA
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Xref: watmath net.singles:5833 net.social:459

>--------
>Having read Greg's article I had difficulty uderstanding why Chuq reacted
>strongly and negatively. Comparison of the excerpts above seems to 
>indicate that they're both in agreement, at least in general terms.
>Since I  have not been through marriage or divorce, I guess I missed
>the subtlety.
>
>Nevertheless, it is difficult to deny the statistics which indicate that
>one marriage in two (in certain areas) fails. Surely, with that many
>people affected marriage cannot remain in people's mind as a permanent
>bond. Of course there are people that still hold on to this value. I
>would expect that one broken marriage would reinforce the participant's
>desire for permanence next time, but no. Statistically, you are more
>likely to get a divorce if you already had one.
>

I think that Chuq's reaction to Greg's remarks could be predicted from your
discussion above.  For me (and I sense for Chuq too, but please excuse me if 
I'm wrong) one of the hardest parts of divorce is breaking this bond that
we looked at as being permanent.  I do still hold onto the value of marrige
being permanent.  I tend to be sensitive to someone saying I don't.

There is implied in what I say a guilt feeling caused by getting a divorce.
This isn't quite the right way to put it, but I am dissappointed, and I'm
disappointed in myself.  But I'd just as soon critisize myself and not let
someone else do it.

Peter Barbee

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