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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP
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From: singles-request@nsc.UUCP
Newsgroups: mod.singles
Subject: Re: non-traditional dating activities
Message-ID: <1671@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 21-Oct-84 22:24:23 EDT
Article-I.D.: nsc.1671
Posted: Sun Oct 21 22:24:23 1984
Date-Received: Mon, 22-Oct-84 12:09:47 EDT
Sender: chuqui@nsc.UUCP
Organization: National Semiconductor, Sunnyvale
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Approved: chuqui@nsc.UUCP

- - - mod.singles- Volume 1, Issue 8 - - -

I like the idea of a relaxed set of activities
with a group of people as a first date, but
here's another issue I've discussed with friends
before:

At what point, if ever, do you encourage your
SO to mix with your friends, or take them on
as his/her own?  This definitely makes for a
comfy atmosphere, and it's nice to know that
your SO will be welcome and will like your best
friends, but this can also become a problem after
the breakup of the relationship.

One or the other of you may feel uncomfortable
about continuing to see the same friends (especially
if you're all used to going out in one group).
Depending upon the circumstances and scope of the
breakup, these friends may feel uneasy themselves
and called upon to take sides.  I myself have had this
problem, when my ex-SO confided in one of my
oldest friends about me (I didn't much care to be
discussed), and when my friends kept seeing my SO
and his new girlfriend as though nothing had happened--as
though they didn't recognize that I was hurt.

In some relationships I have had, my SO ended
up being pretty separate from my friends--and
the breakup was a relatively painless process,
with me able to stay with my friends and not
be reminded of him.

On the other hand, my current SO gets along wonderfully
with all my friends, and I with his.  It's a nice
feeling to have.

Thoughts, anyone?

Deevie

"A university without students is like an ointment
  without a fly."


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