Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site mit-athena.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!houxm!houxz!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!tektronix!hplabs!hao!seismo!harvard!wjh12!genrad!decvax!mit-athena!gerber From: gerber@mit-athena.ARPA (Andrew S Gerber) Newsgroups: net.motss Subject: Flaunting it vs. Hiding it Message-ID: <227@mit-athena.ARPA> Date: Fri, 3-Aug-84 23:48:11 EDT Article-I.D.: mit-athena.227 Posted: Fri Aug 3 23:48:11 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 8-Aug-84 19:22:37 EDT Organization: MIT, Project Athena, Cambridge, Ma. Lines: 41 Subject: Flaunting it vs. hiding it Newsgroups: motss Hi. This is my first posting ever, but it's late and I feel like flaming....... I have been thinking a lot lately about my openness about being gay. I came out about 9 months ago, although `coming out' for me was much more of a personal thing than something I immediatly shared with all my friends. I have come out to many of my friends, but I am not the kind of person who makes it apparent to all his sexual preference, 'cause I use the excuse "Well, straight people don't make it apparent all the time, why should I?" I make friends on a purely social level, and depending on how I meet them (gay contacts vs. straight contacts), they presume either gay or straight. After I become friends with someone very well, then I might, (and I say might, I have some very old friends that I have still not come out to), come out to them. Why do I do this? I feel that someone should know me FIRST as "Andrew S. Gerber", and then find out that I'm gay. If I am introduced as "Andy, and he's gay", many people will not think of me as Andy, but only think of me as "that gay down the hall." Other friends have told me I should tell people right off that I am gay, 'cause that way I avoid investing time in a friendship that might later end because of my sexual preference. I've found that anyone who I feel is my friend will not later drop me because I'm gay, so I leave that till later. Much later. In fact, sometimes they only find out through someone else. And I don't particularly like that. This fall in my new dorm room I'm going to put up a calander that a friend gave me (USC MEN), and a large poster of Tom Cruise (Risky Business, All the Right Moves). Perhaps that will help me come out to people faster and easier. Until then, I guess I'll still stay moderatly quiet. Andrew S. Gerber gerber@mit-charon {gerber%mit-charon%mit-athena@MIT-MC.ARPA} PS: Reading this over, I'm not sure what kind of response I expect..but I do hope to get some..