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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!decwrl!amd!fortune!martin
From: martin@fortune.UUCP (Kera Martin)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: FEAR in men
Message-ID: <3889@fortune.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 27-Jul-84 19:48:30 EDT
Article-I.D.: fortune.3889
Posted: Fri Jul 27 19:48:30 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 28-Jul-84 21:30:06 EDT
Organization: Fortune Systems, Redwood City, CA
Lines: 23

   I've been following this newsgroup for awhile - a closet reader,
anyway, something of note has finally occurred and I'd like some
comments from you ...
   After spending a post-divorce year alone, I finally met a man I
cared for.  He spent 2 months actively pursuing me (constant attention)
and during that time, the ice (mine) melted slowly.  His persistence
and encouragement for my falling in love with him finally worked.  I
really felt ready for another involvement.
   Almost immediately , when I said "OK I'm ready", he said "Hey, you
know what, on second thought, let's just cool it."
   Things went from bad to worse until I finally told him I couldn't
see him anymore.  He didn't like that either, wanted to "keep his options
open ." You know, take me down off the shelf and play with me when he
felt like it. (my interpretation here)
   What I really see are two problems - his fear (commitment, that cr*p
about losing his freedom, maybe missing out on some greener grass, etc.)
the second - my fear (loneliness, going through that pain all over again).
   So it's back to the casual stuff for me (for awhile anyway).  And no,
I'm not seeing him... I don't have enough time for the friends I know I
trust.
                              Kera Martin