Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: Notesfiles; site convex.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!convex!hosking From: hosking@convex.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Child As Surrogate Pet / Re: To Bree - (nf) Message-ID: <42200009@convex.UUCP> Date: Fri, 3-Aug-84 04:37:00 EDT Article-I.D.: convex.42200009 Posted: Fri Aug 3 04:37:00 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 4-Aug-84 23:47:05 EDT References: <3901@fortune.UUCP> Lines: 69 Nf-ID: #R:fortune:-390100:convex:42200009:000:4020 Nf-From: convex!hosking Aug 3 03:37:00 1984 #R:fortune:-390100:convex:42200009:000:4020 convex!hosking Aug 3 03:37:00 1984 > (ut-ngp!judy) > There are many children in this world who have NO ONE. These children are > already here and very much need someone who cares, even if it is a single > parent. If you are serious about wanting to rear a child, how about > considering one of them? Judy, I couldn't agree with this more. Adopting a child is a simple way of helping both the parent and child(ren) meet their needs without adding yet another hungry mouth to the growing world population problem. In many ways, it's better for all of the parties involved. Some parents only want to have boys, others only want girls. You don't have a lot of control over such things in most pregnancies. Some people would love to have children, but would prefer that their children be born at the age of X, so the parent(s) won't have to put up with the demands that younger children can place on a parent. Still others might want to have children but find it difficult due to infertility or some other problem. Pregnancy is not always the most comfortable experience to endure, and I doubt if anyone can honestly say they enjoy the thought of going through labor. (Bill Cosby, keep quiet!) Others are only concerned about helping needy children. Adoption gives both parents and children options they wouldn't otherwise have. There are also many advantages for the child. Many of these children are the result of less than desirable marriages, or even completely unwanted. Through no fault of their own, they have been placed in the care of an agency which, under the best of circumstances, can not hope to give a child the love and care that a real parent or parents could provide. Children who are adopted often have the chance to help choose who their new parents will be. They even get to take each other for a "test drive". {:->) Although there are a lot of advantages to adoption, I think the real issue that should be addressed is the question of whether the prospective parent is really in a position to be a good parent to ANY child - whether their own or adopted. Children are a BIG responsibility for parents - even more so for a single parent. Unless you're independently wealthy, you will probably need to work at least part time. By the time you get home from work, you're likely to be tired and want to relax for a while... but try explaining that to your child. Other days you may be too sick to be able to properly care for your children. This is a big enough problem for two parents to deal with sometimes; for a single parent (who often has nobody else to turn to for help) it's much worse. The decision to have a child is one which will affect both your own life and that of your child for many years to come. It's probably one of the most important decisions you'll ever make. If, after serious consideration, you honestly believe that you are prepared to make the sacrifices that are necessary to give that child what it deserves, I wish you the best of luck. Personally, I think I'd have a difficult time trying to raise children under such circumstances. As much as I'd like to have them some day, I wouldn't feel right about intentionally getting into the situation of trying to raise them as a single parent. I don't think it's fair to the child. Perhaps a better thing to do in such cases is to get involved in something like the big brother/big sister programs. This allows you to spend time with children, but doesn't involve nearly the time commitment that's needed to be a good parent. Although I believe this is typically done with children who have lost a parent, I would imagine that an adoption agency would gladly accept a sincere offer of such help. Even if it's only for a few hours a month, you can make a big difference in someone's life. I'd much rather do something like that than trade one less than optimal situation (a child in need of parents) for another (a child in need of a full time parent). Doug Hosking Convex Computer Corp. {allegra,ihnp4}!convex!hosking