Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site mit-athena.ARPA Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!mit-athena!gerber From: gerber@mit-athena.ARPA (Andrew S Gerber) Newsgroups: net.motss Subject: Flaunting it vs. Hiding it (Posted for Dionysus) Message-ID: <237@mit-athena.ARPA> Date: Wed, 8-Aug-84 19:08:34 EDT Article-I.D.: mit-athe.237 Posted: Wed Aug 8 19:08:34 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 10-Aug-84 07:35:34 EDT Organization: MIT, Project Athena, Cambridge, Ma. Lines: 43 (Note: This was posted by gerber@mit-charon for Dionysus) I tend to agree with most of what you have said but I still feel uneasy. Perhaps because I am older and understand the realities of the business world I have mixed feelings. You see, I was fired for being gay. I now have a fat file somewhere that can come back to haunt me. Yes, my current bosses are aware, but I know that it only takes one a**h*le to start a personal vendetta, etc. As far as friends, I don't hide it but I don't advertise. I find that real friends (that know me well) generally suspect and didn't mention it because they didn't think it was any of their business. As time goes on it gets harder to live a full life without having lots of people know: how do you explain your live-in lover? especially when both of you are financially well enough off to not need to be roommates. I guess the real hang-up about coming out is two-fold: the fear that the pendulum will swing back and the witch-hunts begin, and the knowledge that as one gets older and more senior your employer will be less tolerant. As to the pendulum and the witch hunts: The US Government is very anti-gay. I should know -- I'll tell you about it some day. The worry is that the Jerry Falwell crowd will get enough followers to get their agenda passed. Perhaps the solution is a massive coming out. At least voting against them. One of the most serious failings of Gays is the general lack of interest in politics (present company excluded). Massive voter registration campaigns have been tried with little success. Aside: are you registered (assuming your over 21)? The employer problem is more serious. The numbers of people being discriminated against are large. A lot is subtle. One company in Minneapolis had a anti- discrimination clause, but I was told (by the recruiter) that they rejected me because I was gay -- just because they speak the words doesn't mean they follow them. Promotions can dry up, etc. Also if a co-worker is a Moral Majority type one can have a bad time. All in all your approach seems to be the "Middle Way". Dionysus