Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!zehntel!dual!amd!decwrl!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!uw-june!uw70!charles From: charles@uw70 (Bad Charles) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: republicans Message-ID: <158@uw70.UUCP> Date: Thu, 9-Aug-84 10:32:29 EDT Article-I.D.: uw70.158 Posted: Thu Aug 9 10:32:29 1984 Date-Received: Mon, 13-Aug-84 00:56:59 EDT Lines: 28 Copied without permission from Mark Russell's column in the Seattle Times. "Sure, the opening Olympic ceremonies were great, but wait until you see the pagentry at the Republican National Convention. It will make the Olympic show look like half- time at the Sioux Falls High School homecoming team. To begin with, a 5,000-piece band will form a hugh map of Grenada as the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, dressed as Statues of Liberty, invade the island and establish a beachhead at the trombone section. Then, in a flashback, a dozen unindicted Teamster leaders rush out onto the field and put up a replica of Dixon, Ill., the president's birthplace, as the ABC cameras focus on a jet-pack stork carrying a tiny bundle. Marvin Hamlisch will conduct 200 Yamaha grand pianos in a medley of GOP favorites - including "Get Me to the Bank on Time" and "I'll Be Down to Get You in a Lear Jet, Honey." At the climax, Jerry Falwell, after running one lap, will light the convention flame with a burning kerosene-soaked copy of Penthouse magazine." Charles Camisa Heh heh!