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From: denise@sdcsvax.UUCP (Denise Neufer)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Asking men out
Message-ID: <1076@sdcsvax.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 9-Aug-84 01:51:59 EDT
Article-I.D.: sdcsvax.1076
Posted: Thu Aug  9 01:51:59 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 5-Aug-84 05:24:31 EDT
References: <441@ames.UUCP>
Reply-To: denise@sdcsvax.UUCP
Organization: EECS Dept. U.C. San Diego
Lines: 42


Kenn,

	I figure that I am well enough qualified to answer this as a few
people, men, can attest to.  I have asked men out when I have found myself
interested in getting to know them better.  I will usually ask somebody out
if I feel I do not have another way of getting acquainted with him.  I
actually prefer to get to know somebody a little before "risking the
Big Snub".  Still I feel that if I am not willing to take a chance I will
miss out on meeting some very intriguing people.  I have had invitations
accepted for lunch/dinner on many occasions.  One gentleman I asked to 
dinner and we hit it off pretty well.  He told me that he had considered
asking me out first but had not been able to get up the nerve.  We dated
steadily for a year and a half after that. 

	On the other hand I have been told "No thanks" straight out and
then there was one gentlemen in particular who spent about a year telling me
to ask him "next week" when he wasn't so busy.  (I was persistant but I 
finally had to admit defeat.  (I figure I will wait for him to come to me!))
I have to admit I don't like being turned down but I *hate* being told 
"I would love to but.....  ...next week..."  Urgh!!

	It is extremely difficult for me to get up the nerve to ask a
guy whom I don't know very well out.  It would be a lot easier to ask a 
friend to go to dinner, but not everyone I am attracted to is my friend, 
(yet).  (I am working on that one).

	I guess the reason I would ask a guy out whereas other women would
not is that in talking to my father he said when he was younger he was
quite shy/quiet and it was very hard for him to ask women he liked out for
fear of rejection.  Since I think that my father was definitely worth asking
out I figure there are other guys that are also worth asking out.  (Electra
complex...  well, I don't really think so but... anything is possible).

	Most of my friends are male but of those women I know all but two
or three have asked men out.  Most of them have found the men they asked
out to be quite flattered and responsive.

					Denise Neufer
 
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