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From: charles@uw70 (Bad Charles)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: republicans
Message-ID: <158@uw70.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 9-Aug-84 10:32:29 EDT
Article-I.D.: uw70.158
Posted: Thu Aug  9 10:32:29 1984
Date-Received: Mon, 13-Aug-84 00:56:59 EDT
Lines: 28

Copied without permission from Mark Russell's column in
the Seattle Times.

"Sure, the opening Olympic ceremonies were great, but wait
until you see the pagentry at the Republican National 
Convention.  It will make the Olympic show look like half-
time at the Sioux Falls High School homecoming team.

To begin with, a 5,000-piece band will form a hugh map of
Grenada as the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, dressed as 
Statues of Liberty, invade the island and establish a
beachhead at the trombone section.

Then, in a flashback, a dozen unindicted Teamster leaders
rush out onto the field and put up a replica of Dixon, Ill.,
the president's birthplace, as the ABC cameras focus on a
jet-pack stork carrying a tiny bundle.

Marvin Hamlisch will conduct 200 Yamaha grand pianos in a
medley of GOP favorites - including "Get Me to the Bank on Time"
and "I'll Be Down to Get You in a Lear Jet, Honey."

At the climax, Jerry Falwell, after running one lap, will 
light the convention flame with a burning kerosene-soaked copy
of Penthouse magazine."

			      Charles Camisa
			      Heh heh!