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From: mat@hou4b.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: makeup
Message-ID: <1105@hou4b.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 17-Aug-84 17:57:31 EDT
Article-I.D.: hou4b.1105
Posted: Fri Aug 17 17:57:31 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 19-Aug-84 01:48:00 EDT
References: <3988@brl-tgr.ARPA>
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Holmdel, NJ
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>	I have never thought about the pros and cons of wearing makeup,
>	... mostly out of necessity. I do not have flawless, perfect skin like
>	these women who complain about other women wearing makeup . . .

May I present a totally different perspective?  I'm a man, and I have
felt more thatn the usual American-male discomfort about self-decoration.
In fact, it has bordered on mingled curiosity and horror, so take these
comments with a grain of salt.

Why is it necessary to appear as though one has flawless skin or
``perfect'' features?  And who defines ``perfect'' anyhow?  I've seen
a number of women ruin what I thought were magnificently proportioned
faces because they thought that their noses were too big.

It angers me that people allow fashionmakers to change their wardrobes
yearly -- and the fashionmakers get rich off it.  What benefit do you
get for your money?  If someone tells you this year that one thing is
attractive, and that it is the thing to wear, and then next year tells
you that you should look like something else, then you should draw one
of two conclusions:  either he is not a source of reliable information
or else there is no reliable information.

My experience is that things which are visually or audibly attractive
in a few moments are ugly in a feww weeks.  Things that are attractive
in a few weeks are ugly in months, and thing that are become attractive
after only a few months become ugly over a lifespan.  If we continually
struggle for things that are atractive in a matter of moments, we will
never learn what constitutes real beauty.  And this is a decision that
each must make for himself -- Jordache be damned.  (in fact we might
be better off if such leeches were removed from the economy, but it's
a free society, after all).  And please note that I am not talking about
dressing for special reasons ... When everyone wears a tux, the atmosphere
of a special purpose is enhanced.

>	It angers me when these "perfect skinned" women get up in arms
>	about other women wearing makeup. What's it to you who wears
>	makeup and what their reasons may be? Like who are you to judge
>	WHY people wear makeup? I personally *feel* ugly as sin without
>	it because my skin has been plagued with acne and has resulted
>	in scarring and I feel a definite necessity to help my image of
>	myself by trying to look the best I possibly can.

Im afraid that this sounds like insecurity criticizing insecurity here.  But
I'm insecure too, so maybe this doesn't count.  I have sideburns.  Big ones.
And I think they look good, ar at least they remind me of someone who looked
good.  And I am pleased if someone walks up to me and compliments me.  But
if someone says they look silly or ugly, I don't get too upset, usually.
The experiences and nature that shaped his esthetic are not those that
shaped mine.  On the other hand, if I am insecure about clothing ... if
one day I wear a suit (I usually don't) or if I don't when I feel I should,
I get insecure, and I'm liable to feel bad about my image if I'm criticized.
But rarely do I feel angry at someone else.  And I also feel that my insecurity
and ill ease are problems ... that I really shouldn't care.  Neither should
anyone else, but I don't really expect that to change.

>	Looking the best I can means wearing makeup to hide
>	marks and I have never thought anything more about it than that.
>	If I had perfect skin, I would not feel a *need* to wear makeup. I
>	have very pretty features, just not very good skin. And since, in my
>	opinion, your skin is your whole face, having good features does my
>	self image no good. Enough said...

But is it good to have that need?  Is it good to expect, no, to want, people
to value you or to view you on this basis?  I just don't think it is.  We
are superficial enough, with all of our defenses and postures -- ``To
prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet.'' (T.S.Eliott - The Love
Song of J. Alfred Prufrock).  Should we invest more of our self-worth in
posturing and presenting, rather than in BEING the most that we can?

I hear you saying ``This makes me FEEL better -- and when I feel good
I am better than I am when I feel bad.''  Alright, it is a crutch.  But
what is the job of a crutch?  Shouldn't it help us to outgrow it?  And if
it doesn't, is it a crutch or a trap?
-- 

	from Mole End			Mark Terribile
		(scrape .. dig )	hou5d!mat
    ,..      .,,       ,,,   ..,***_*.  (soon hou4b!mat)