Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site opus.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!zehntel!hplabs!hao!cires!nbires!opus!rcd
From: rcd@opus.UUCP (Dick Dunn)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Asking men out
Message-ID: <665@opus.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 3-Aug-84 03:03:10 EDT
Article-I.D.: opus.665
Posted: Fri Aug  3 03:03:10 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 5-Aug-84 05:32:37 EDT
References: <441@ames.UUCP>
Organization: NBI, Boulder
Lines: 31

>...Neither I, nor any other man I know, has ever
>been asked out by a woman,...
>	So, my question is this: anyone out there know of any men who've
>been asked out by women, or any women who've asked men out? We're talking
>first approach, here, by the way; if you're not risking your ego on the strong
>possibility of a 'no', it doesn't count...

Yes, most assuredly so.  We're talking first person here, by the way; it's
happened to me.  (I've also seen it happen, in a way obvious enough that
there wasn't any question of where the initiative lay.)  It hasn't
happened a lot, but it doesn't take many times.  I dunno; maybe it's
'cause I've always been pretty quiet/shy around women, even though I can
show interest - they probably get tired of waiting for me to make the
first move.

>...Could it be, as I suspect,
>that there are few people of either sex who care to risk rejection if
>they are able to rely on others risking rejection from them, instead?

I think that's a big part of it.  Combine that with the fact that a woman
asking a man out is bucking the standard "way things are done", and it
becomes even more risky for her to try it.  She can get not only the
standard ego-blowing polite "no, thanks" but a "no, and what the hell are
you doing" reaction.

There is one thing to consider:  The woman who's willing to ask you out is
probably typically different from the one who won't - she's likely to be
more self-confident and less constrained by stereotypical roles.
-- 
Dick Dunn	{hao,ucbvax,allegra}!nbires!rcd		(303)444-5710 x3086
	...Never offend with style when you can offend with substance.