Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site drux3.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!houxm!hogpc!houxe!drutx!drux3!anita From: anita@drux3.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Re: "forward women" (2nd posting due to my bad editting) Message-ID: <1205@drux3.UUCP> Date: Thu, 2-Aug-84 16:21:16 EDT Article-I.D.: drux3.1205 Posted: Thu Aug 2 16:21:16 1984 Date-Received: Sat, 4-Aug-84 00:29:10 EDT Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Denver Lines: 44 Subject: Re: "forward women" > on the subject of asking men out: > ... i don't think it's a very good idea: > case 1: the guy already likes you. then 9 times out of 10, he'll call you. > so there's no need for you to call him. > case 2: he doesn't like you. then he's going to reject you when you call, > and we all know that's a drag. > case 3: he's undecided. then 9 times out of 10 your calling him is going to > put him off, not make him interested. I have asked a man out on two occasions. Why not more often? Well, mainly because of case one above. Usually if I'm interested in a guy I make it fairly plain (not necessarily intentionally) and if he's interested he'll make the move. The two times I took the initiative it was because the guy seemed interested, but wasn't doing anything about it. It was incredibly scary both times, and I think if I didn't fancy myself a feminist I never would have had the nerve to do it. I don't know how guys manage to face the possibility of rejection all the time like that. Even though I was sure the guy was interested, I came up with all kinds of doubts when I actually considered asking him out. Anyway, my offer was happily accepted both times. The second time was 11 months ago and the guy is my current SO. Anyway, I found that both times I felt much more in control on the date than I've ever been otherwise on a first date. I didn't feel intimidated because this stranger was spending money on me and I therefore owed him something. (I can't help it, that's the way I always end up feeling!) Also, the guys loved it. Both times they had their own reasons for not asking, but were thrilled to be asked. I've also seen many a romance never get started because the guy never got the nerve up to ask the woman, so I really think cases 2 and 3 are not as common as one would think. Also, when you're going to ask someone out, you tend to think of every reason in the world that they'll reject you. My rule of thumb is if I thought they wanted to go out with me before I thought of asking, that's the feeling I should go by. I really think if you have any desire to ask a guy out, you should go ahead and do it. It's time for women to start taking some risks, and the results can be just great. Anita