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From: williams@kirk.DEC (John Williams 223-3402)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: A key, a measure, a composition
Message-ID: <3167@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 8-Aug-84 10:42:26 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.3167
Posted: Wed Aug  8 10:42:26 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 10-Aug-84 01:53:08 EDT
Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP
Organization: DEC Engineering Network
Lines: 49



I personally prefer to experience people before I consider
wanting to share activities with them. I find that all too
often, the attention is focussed on the display, rather than
on the being inside. I have found in many of my
relationships, that there has been a barrier of personality,
that somehow, things just didn't hold the same meaning for
the both of us. I try to reconcile, but don't always have
the time to understand the meanings and views of my partner
without somehow feeling that it is a distortion of reality. 

I find that this has made me cautious. I can very often tell
alot about a person by the words and inflections they use,
but in individual conversations, I find that each one is
just another facet of that person's complete personality,
whether concious or unconcious. There is a popular theory
that intellegence itself is an evolutionary product of this
kind of social behaviour. 

I find more often than not, I am not changing the views I
hold as much as the way I express them, and though
continuing communication, the symbols we exchange hold
increasingly similar meanings. I find that with some people,
these meanings converge, with some people, these meanings
diverge, and with some people, they verge on the ridiculous.
The divergent I avoid if possible, the ridiculous I don't
take seriously. I try to maintain communication with those I
feel are potentially convergent, even if it's only a simple
`` Hello ''. 

I guess what I look for mostly is an `` open-ness ''. It
implies an ability to control one's own mind to me. It
implies an ability to not let your more vulgar emotions to
control your destiny. And above all, I look for patience.
Relationships should avoid critical timing. The result is
eventually, failure. Maybe I can't explain my actions to you
in 25 words or less, but if you have enough patience, I am
confident that you will eventually understand. I have to
assume that we have a concious, and I will base my actions,
as best I can, accordingly. 

		< like, cool to be, mon >

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