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From: chabot@amber.DEC (Lisa S. Chabot)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Asking men out
Message-ID: <3105@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 3-Aug-84 11:22:02 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.3105
Posted: Fri Aug  3 11:22:02 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 5-Aug-84 05:28:02 EDT
Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP
Organization: DEC Engineering Network
Lines: 44

Ask out first?  Of course, lots of times!  And I've put efforts into courting
before a prospective first asking out (you know, to see if I'm interested and
if they might be), arranged dates with and without lust in my circulatory 
system, worried before and after the asking, been turned down, been accepted...
all the exciting stuff!  I'll admit, I'm not always the initiator, but then,
it's more fun to get pleasant surprises both ways (as asker and as askee), and,
frankly, there's ego at stake on both sides: the grass isn't necessarily any
greener or freer of ticks whether you ask or wait to be asked, but I'm
addicted to it over here where the fences aren't seen to be along those lines.
I'm not gifted with an outgoing nature, either, I feel I'm quite shy, and it's 
not easy.

Well, I don't know.  If I'm not getting asked, I do have myself to rely upon
to ask others, and I guess we're hearing again about how there aren't enough
women who will ask for men to be able to count on ever getting asked out.
(On the other hand, I have to deal with men who may be appalled at being asked
out.  Eh.  (Just so another side gets mentioned.))  Well, sorry, so make it
better for future generations: make sure your daughters and sisters and nieces
and aunts and cousins and uncles and nephews and brothers and sons (and for
that matter, sometimes parents can be helped) are raised properly.  No, no,
you can't just tell young folk, it has to be persistent information, through
demonstration, and, although I've no idea where *I* got the idea (probably 
through some failure of the primary school system where it was not properly
instilled in me not to identify with the exciting role models, combined with
too much tolerance from my parents towards the eldest child), probably doing
things like showing that there aren't such things as exclusively girl's
and exclusively boy's activities or pursuits (like cooking and fishing) will
have an influence.  Hmm, and don't forget to do something about dealing with 
sex without fear: both the ignorance and the awful "boys only have bad things
in mind" (both the "boys *only*" and the "*boys* only" is what I'm implying,
as well as the evil in the word "bad")[no, not just the words, it's the
attitude that has to be improved].

Wait a minute!  Where am I?!  Isn't this net.singles?!!  Oh, well, I suppose
most of us were knee-high to an arthropod once, and maybe we sit around and
ruminate about the effect of parents on how warped we feel we managed not to
turn out? 

Busy, back to work,
L S Chabot

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