Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site cbdkc1.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly From: cly@cbdkc1.UUCP (Carl Yaffey) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: re: asking men out Message-ID: <650@cbdkc1.UUCP> Date: Mon, 6-Aug-84 10:06:01 EDT Article-I.D.: cbdkc1.650 Posted: Mon Aug 6 10:06:01 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 8-Aug-84 08:19:09 EDT Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Columbus Lines: 30 I lump several things into the "asking men out" category. Among them are: actually asking a man for a date, asking a man to dance, and CLEARLY expressing interest. My personal experience is that this is more likely to happen in certain situations and places. It has happened to me in a bar or public dance only rarely. It has happened ONCE in 18 years at work! It happens a LOT at the one-week camps for singles that I go to in the summer. It happens fairly frequently at the Unitarian-Universalist Church I attend, and at some singles groups in town. I'm still trying to figure out the difference. Part of it HAS to be that I'm different at different places. I'm more myself at the camps and at church. I think another part of it is that a person learns something of another person by "seeing them around" and observing their body language and hearing what they say. If the observation ends up positve, they will be inclined to go another step forward. If it's negative (or ZERO!), they will not. People that are very physically attractive seem to be able to skip this step! I think it is often zero at work or at bars because there is so little opportunity to learn these (sometimes) subtle things about the person. At work, we're all in these little cubicles WORKING. At lunch, it is a logistics problem as most folks eat surrounded by their friends and/or co-workers. Also, there are very few social activities. I've just about given up on meeting anyone at work - no matter WHO does the asking! Maybe in another 18 years :-) Oh, well, thank goodness for outside activities! -- Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio 614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly