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From: petes@tekigm.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Long joke, may be offensive to Mexicans
Message-ID: <139@tekigm.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 25-Jul-84 14:14:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: tekigm.139
Posted: Wed Jul 25 14:14:05 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 29-Jul-84 00:40:20 EDT
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 44



An airliner is flying over the Pacific Ocean mid-distant between California 
and Hawaii when two out of its three engines die.
Some of the passengers near windows see a small fire around one of the
engines and panic slowly ripples through the rest.
The plane, being loaded to capacity (60 people and their baggage), begins
loosing altitude.

The captain enters the passenger compartment:
  Ladies and gentlemen, no need for alarm. We have had two engines fail.
  In order to maintain our present 5000 foot altitude, the plane must be
  lightened by 6000 pounds. All baggage must be thrown overboard.

In compliance, the emergency door was opened and the passengers threw out
all of their baggage as well as other stuff not nailed down.

A short time later and at an altitude of 1500 feet, the captain again
addresses the passengers:
  We are still too heavy, another 500 pounds will save us.

Looking around, nothing else remained to be thrown overboard. As all eyes
turn to the captain, the he responds:
  Are there any volunteers willing to give their lives to save the rest of
  people on board?

He was quick to add that he must stay to fly the plane to a safe landing.

After a few moments of silence and the ground getting ever closer, an
elderly Frenchman finally walked to the door. He'd lived a long, full life.
With a flourish of hand and a "Viva La France", he jumped.

A distinguished looking Britisher volunteered next, not to be outdone by
a Frenchman. With a tip of his derby and a "God Save the Queen", he also
jumped.

With just 170 pounds to go, several moments pause ensued. 

Finally, a tall, lanky Texan saunters up to the door and looks out. The
ground is now dangerously close. After looking around at the various 
passengers and considering the situation, it looked as though he was ready
to jump. At the last instant, he backs away, grabs the two small Mexicans
sitting next to the door and throws them out as he yells "Remember the
Allimo".