Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site loral.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!zehntel!hplabs!sdcrdcf!sdcsvax!sdccs6!loral!sdi
From: sdi@loral.UUCP (Steve Irwin)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Customer Service?
Message-ID: <300@loral.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 25-Jul-84 12:26:50 EDT
Article-I.D.: loral.300
Posted: Wed Jul 25 12:26:50 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 29-Jul-84 03:43:14 EDT
Organization: Loral Instruments, San Diego
Lines: 64


The following does not represent the opinion of the  indivi-
dual  posting  the article nor the attitude or policy of the
company providing access to the net.

In  accordance  with  company  policy,  we  are  pleased  to
announce  that  you  received merchandise with the same high
quality standards offered all our customers.   We  feel  you
are extremely chicken-shit on returning this stuff, particu-
larly since we did not authorize the return.

You know damned well we have a comprehensive  and  equitable
Returned  Goods  Policy  and  you  will  play hell receiving
credit unless this policy is strictly adhered to.

We ship whatever the hell comes off the production line  and
whether it meets specifications or not is besides the point.
We are  reasonably  confident  our  packaging  contains  the
proper materials a good share of the time.  By God no one is
perfect.  I'd like to see  your  production  area  sometime,
I'll bet that you have a shit-pot full of problems too.

Incidently, you have really pissed-off  our  Scheduling  and
Production  people  with your arbitrary statements regarding
late delivery.  After all, your order was only three  months
overdue, which is a helluva lot better than most of our cus-
tomers get.  What the hell do you expect?

On future orders we suggest you favor us with a higher  dol-
lar volume and we will bust our ass.  With this type volume,
we can guarantee a maximum late order of two months  .  .  .
how's that for a 3-day improvement?

As a valued customer, it  is  certainly  your  privilege  to
request  we  check  future orders more closely for requested
shipping dates, but your prickish attitude will, we are con-
fident, result in our shipping so damned late you will be in
such a bind that you will gladly accept any old shit we want
to get rid of.

By the way, don't give us any  crap  about  order  cancella-
tions;  we're already in production.  We could, however, see
our way clear to stop production if you will pay 90% cancel-
lation charges.  Otherwise . . . tough shit.


In summary, you work with us and  we  work  with  you.   BUT
don't  pull  that irate customer shit on us, we've been down
that path before.



Warm personal regards,




P.S.  You screwed  up  again  when  you  insisted  our  part
doesn't  resemble  your  specification  drawing.  BULLSHIT!!
Your drawing isn't even close to our part.   We  knew  there
was 1-1/4" difference between the part and the drawing which
we consider minor and totally insignificant.  Why don't  you
get on your engineer's ass for a change.