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From: srt@ucla-cs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Ferdinand Feginhoot
Message-ID: <755@ucla-cs.ARPA>
Date: Fri, 10-Aug-84 07:39:14 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucla-cs.755
Posted: Fri Aug 10 07:39:14 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 14-Aug-84 06:46:08 EDT
Organization: UCLA CS Dept.
Lines: 43

Ferdinand had recently graduated from the University of Claphus on Lieta
Alpha with a degree in exobiology when he logged a distress signal from the
tiny world of Aragon IV.  Aragon IV was part of the Delphi cluster, famous
for it's Bossle Booths, a matter transmitter arrangement that linked most
of the worlds in the cluster.  Now it seemed as if Aragon was infested with
some strange beast.

Landing, Ferdinand found the plant crawling with strange, 2 foot high beasts
with a centrally mounted eye and leg.  They hopped from place to place and
did little else, generally making a nuisance of themselves.  Ferdinand had
never seen there like before, but the planet Elders implored him to do his
best.

Ferdinand announced that the beasts were probably from off-planet, and perhaps
by finding their home world he could discover how to control them.

`Certainly,' cried the Elders, and Ferdinand jumped into the nearest Bossle
Booth and bossled off to a neighboring world.

Weeks passed and Ferdinand did not return.   The Elders began to despair.
Then, late one night, a tired and well-traveled Ferdinand staggered out of
the Bossle Booth.  He grabbed a nearby axe and smashed the booth to pieces.
Instantly, the beast vanished.

The Elders were happy to have their problem solved, but unhappy to have lost
the fairly expensive Bossle Booth.  `Explain yourself' they cried.


`Well,' said Ferdinand.  `I travelled from world to world for many days.
Every where I went the beasts were already there.  I despaired of finding
their homeworld.  Finally I had travelled to every world in the Delphi
Cluster.  I used the `USENET' searching algorithm,  so you can appreciate
how long it took me.  Everywhere these beasts.  Finally, I admitted defeat
and decided to return.  However, on the way back I finally figured out what
this beast was, and after that the solution was obvious.''

`What was it?' cried the Elders.

Ferdinand looked at them askance.  ``Why, it's the pest of all bossible
worlds, of course!''


				-- Scott Turner