Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site decwrl.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!zehntel!dual!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-amber!chabot From: chabot@amber.DEC (Lisa S. Chabot) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Asking men out Message-ID: <3105@decwrl.UUCP> Date: Fri, 3-Aug-84 11:22:02 EDT Article-I.D.: decwrl.3105 Posted: Fri Aug 3 11:22:02 1984 Date-Received: Sun, 5-Aug-84 05:28:02 EDT Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP Organization: DEC Engineering Network Lines: 44 Ask out first? Of course, lots of times! And I've put efforts into courting before a prospective first asking out (you know, to see if I'm interested and if they might be), arranged dates with and without lust in my circulatory system, worried before and after the asking, been turned down, been accepted... all the exciting stuff! I'll admit, I'm not always the initiator, but then, it's more fun to get pleasant surprises both ways (as asker and as askee), and, frankly, there's ego at stake on both sides: the grass isn't necessarily any greener or freer of ticks whether you ask or wait to be asked, but I'm addicted to it over here where the fences aren't seen to be along those lines. I'm not gifted with an outgoing nature, either, I feel I'm quite shy, and it's not easy. Well, I don't know. If I'm not getting asked, I do have myself to rely upon to ask others, and I guess we're hearing again about how there aren't enough women who will ask for men to be able to count on ever getting asked out. (On the other hand, I have to deal with men who may be appalled at being asked out. Eh. (Just so another side gets mentioned.)) Well, sorry, so make it better for future generations: make sure your daughters and sisters and nieces and aunts and cousins and uncles and nephews and brothers and sons (and for that matter, sometimes parents can be helped) are raised properly. No, no, you can't just tell young folk, it has to be persistent information, through demonstration, and, although I've no idea where *I* got the idea (probably through some failure of the primary school system where it was not properly instilled in me not to identify with the exciting role models, combined with too much tolerance from my parents towards the eldest child), probably doing things like showing that there aren't such things as exclusively girl's and exclusively boy's activities or pursuits (like cooking and fishing) will have an influence. Hmm, and don't forget to do something about dealing with sex without fear: both the ignorance and the awful "boys only have bad things in mind" (both the "boys *only*" and the "*boys* only" is what I'm implying, as well as the evil in the word "bad")[no, not just the words, it's the attitude that has to be improved]. Wait a minute! Where am I?! Isn't this net.singles?!! Oh, well, I suppose most of us were knee-high to an arthropod once, and maybe we sit around and ruminate about the effect of parents on how warped we feel we managed not to turn out? Busy, back to work, L S Chabot UUCP: ...decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-amber!chabot ARPA: ...chabot%amber.DEC@decwrl.ARPA USFail: DEC, MR03-1/K20, 2 Iron Way, Marlborough, MA 01752