Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site ucla-cs.ARPA Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!sdcsvax!sdcrdcf!trwrba!cepu!ucla-cs!srt From: srt@ucla-cs.UUCP Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Ferdinand Feginhoot Message-ID: <755@ucla-cs.ARPA> Date: Fri, 10-Aug-84 07:39:14 EDT Article-I.D.: ucla-cs.755 Posted: Fri Aug 10 07:39:14 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 14-Aug-84 06:46:08 EDT Organization: UCLA CS Dept. Lines: 43 Ferdinand had recently graduated from the University of Claphus on Lieta Alpha with a degree in exobiology when he logged a distress signal from the tiny world of Aragon IV. Aragon IV was part of the Delphi cluster, famous for it's Bossle Booths, a matter transmitter arrangement that linked most of the worlds in the cluster. Now it seemed as if Aragon was infested with some strange beast. Landing, Ferdinand found the plant crawling with strange, 2 foot high beasts with a centrally mounted eye and leg. They hopped from place to place and did little else, generally making a nuisance of themselves. Ferdinand had never seen there like before, but the planet Elders implored him to do his best. Ferdinand announced that the beasts were probably from off-planet, and perhaps by finding their home world he could discover how to control them. `Certainly,' cried the Elders, and Ferdinand jumped into the nearest Bossle Booth and bossled off to a neighboring world. Weeks passed and Ferdinand did not return. The Elders began to despair. Then, late one night, a tired and well-traveled Ferdinand staggered out of the Bossle Booth. He grabbed a nearby axe and smashed the booth to pieces. Instantly, the beast vanished. The Elders were happy to have their problem solved, but unhappy to have lost the fairly expensive Bossle Booth. `Explain yourself' they cried. `Well,' said Ferdinand. `I travelled from world to world for many days. Every where I went the beasts were already there. I despaired of finding their homeworld. Finally I had travelled to every world in the Delphi Cluster. I used the `USENET' searching algorithm, so you can appreciate how long it took me. Everywhere these beasts. Finally, I admitted defeat and decided to return. However, on the way back I finally figured out what this beast was, and after that the solution was obvious.'' `What was it?' cried the Elders. Ferdinand looked at them askance. ``Why, it's the pest of all bossible worlds, of course!'' -- Scott Turner