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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!okstate!vasoll
From: vasoll@okstate.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: New Company Policy - (nf)
Message-ID: <3800001@okstate.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 23-Aug-84 00:23:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: okstate.3800001
Posted: Thu Aug 23 00:23:00 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 19-Aug-84 02:21:43 EDT
Lines: 53
Nf-ID: #N:okstate:3800001:000:2733
Nf-From: okstate!vasoll    Aug 16 23:23:00 1984

#N:okstate:3800001:000:2733
okstate!vasoll    Aug 16 23:23:00 1984

                               N O T I C E
                               -----------

To:   ALL EMPLOYEES

The attendance record of this establishment is a disgrace.  Due to your
lack of consideration for your jobs, as shown by such frequent absences, it
has become necessary for us to revise some of our policies.


The following changes are in effect immediately:

SICKNESS....................NO EXCUSE     We will no longer accept your 
                                          doctor's statement as proof. We
                                          believe that if you are able to
                                          go to the doctor, you are able to
                                          come to work.

DEATH...........(other than your own)     This is no excuse!!  There is nothing
                                          you can do for them and we are sure
                                          that someone else with a lesser
                                          position can attend to the
                                          arrangements.  However, if the funeral
                                          can be held in the late afternoon, we
                                          will be glad to let you off one hour
                                          early, provided that your work is all
                                          completed.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE...(for an operation)     We are no longer allowing this
                                          practice.  We believe as long as you
                                          are an employee here, you will need
                                          all of whatever you have, and should
                                          not consider having anything removed.
                                          We hired you as you are, and to have
                                          anything removed would certainly make
                                          you less than we bargained for.

DEATH......................(your own)     This will be accepted as an excuse,
                                          but we shall require a two week
                                          notice, as we feel it is your duty
                                          to teach someone else your job.

ALSO:  ENTIRELY TOO MUCH TIME IS BEING SPENT IN THE RESTROOM!!!  In the future
we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for instance, those
whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00 to 8:15, "B" will go from 8:15 to
8:30, etc.  If you are unable to go at your time it will be necessary to wait
until the next day when your turn comes again.


                             THE MANAGEMENT