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From: cly@cbdkc1.UUCP (Carl Yaffey)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: re: asking men out
Message-ID: <650@cbdkc1.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 6-Aug-84 10:06:01 EDT
Article-I.D.: cbdkc1.650
Posted: Mon Aug  6 10:06:01 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 8-Aug-84 08:19:09 EDT
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Columbus
Lines: 30

I lump several things into the "asking men out" category.
Among them are:
actually asking a man for a date, asking a man to dance, and
CLEARLY expressing interest. 
My personal experience is that this is more likely to happen
in certain situations and places. It has happened
to me in a bar or public dance only rarely. It has happened ONCE in 18
years at work! It happens a LOT at the one-week camps for
singles that I go to in the summer. It happens fairly
frequently at the Unitarian-Universalist Church I attend,
and at some singles groups in town. I'm still trying to figure
out the difference. Part of it HAS to be that I'm different at
different places. I'm more myself at the camps and at church.
I think another part of it is that a person learns something
of another person by "seeing them around" and observing
their body language and hearing what they say. If the observation
ends up positve, they will be inclined to go another step
forward. If it's negative (or ZERO!), they will not.
People that are very physically attractive seem to be able to skip this step!
I think it is often zero at work or at bars because there is so little 
opportunity to learn these (sometimes) subtle things about the
person.  At work, we're all in these little cubicles WORKING.
At lunch, it is a logistics problem as most folks eat surrounded
by their friends and/or co-workers. Also, there are very few social
activities.  I've just about given up on meeting anyone at work - 
no matter WHO does the asking! Maybe in another 18 years :-)
Oh, well, thank goodness for outside activities!
-- 
Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio 
614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly