Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sdcsvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!zehntel!hplabs!sdcrdcf!sdcsvax!denise From: denise@sdcsvax.UUCP (Denise Neufer) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Asking men out Message-ID: <1076@sdcsvax.UUCP> Date: Thu, 9-Aug-84 01:51:59 EDT Article-I.D.: sdcsvax.1076 Posted: Thu Aug 9 01:51:59 1984 Date-Received: Sun, 5-Aug-84 05:24:31 EDT References: <441@ames.UUCP> Reply-To: denise@sdcsvax.UUCP Organization: EECS Dept. U.C. San Diego Lines: 42 Kenn, I figure that I am well enough qualified to answer this as a few people, men, can attest to. I have asked men out when I have found myself interested in getting to know them better. I will usually ask somebody out if I feel I do not have another way of getting acquainted with him. I actually prefer to get to know somebody a little before "risking the Big Snub". Still I feel that if I am not willing to take a chance I will miss out on meeting some very intriguing people. I have had invitations accepted for lunch/dinner on many occasions. One gentleman I asked to dinner and we hit it off pretty well. He told me that he had considered asking me out first but had not been able to get up the nerve. We dated steadily for a year and a half after that. On the other hand I have been told "No thanks" straight out and then there was one gentlemen in particular who spent about a year telling me to ask him "next week" when he wasn't so busy. (I was persistant but I finally had to admit defeat. (I figure I will wait for him to come to me!)) I have to admit I don't like being turned down but I *hate* being told "I would love to but..... ...next week..." Urgh!! It is extremely difficult for me to get up the nerve to ask a guy whom I don't know very well out. It would be a lot easier to ask a friend to go to dinner, but not everyone I am attracted to is my friend, (yet). (I am working on that one). I guess the reason I would ask a guy out whereas other women would not is that in talking to my father he said when he was younger he was quite shy/quiet and it was very hard for him to ask women he liked out for fear of rejection. Since I think that my father was definitely worth asking out I figure there are other guys that are also worth asking out. (Electra complex... well, I don't really think so but... anything is possible). Most of my friends are male but of those women I know all but two or three have asked men out. Most of them have found the men they asked out to be quite flattered and responsive. Denise Neufer uucp: ucbvax!sdcsvax!denise arpa: denise@nosc