Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site decwrl.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!zehntel!dual!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-cheers!burden From: burden@cheers.DEC (Dave Burden --- 381-2559) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Hopefully offensive to orphans and maybe Australians Message-ID: <3335@decwrl.UUCP> Date: Tue, 14-Aug-84 16:09:51 EDT Article-I.D.: decwrl.3335 Posted: Tue Aug 14 16:09:51 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 16-Aug-84 03:31:11 EDT Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP Organization: DEC Engineering Network Lines: 43Anti-Orphan Group Thrives "They spend years searching for their natural parents, convinced their parents will be happy to see them. I mean, really, can you imagine someone being happy to see an orphan? Nobody wants them...that's why they're orphans!" The speaker is Anne Baker, founder and guiding force behind Orphan-Off, an organization dedicated to keeping orphans confused about the whereabouts of their natural parents. She is a woman with a mission: "Basically, what we do is band together to exchange information about which orphans are looking for which parents in what part of the country. We're completely computerized. "The idea is to throw the orphans as many red herrings and false leads as possible. We'll tell some twenty-three-year-old loser that his real parents can be found at a certain address on the other side of the country. Well, by the time the kid shows up, the family is prepared. They look over the kid's photos and information and they say, 'Oh, the Emersons...yeah, they used to live here...I think they moved out about five years ago. I think they went to Iowa, or maybe Idaho.' "Bam, the door shuts in the kid's face and he's back to zero again. He's got nothing to go on but the orphan's pathetic determination to continue. "It's really amazing how much these kids will put with. Last year we even sent one kid all the way to Australia. I mean, really. Besides, if your natural parents were Australian, would you want to meet them?" Mrs. Baker formed her group three years ago. At first, members came solely from the ranks of parents who had given their children up for adoption -- parents who feared having some kid show up on their doorstep to complicate their lives. Then adoptive parents joined in. They were upset about raising kids for twenty years only to have them leave in search of natural parents. After a while, word about the organization spread. "Now," says Mrs. Baker, beaming broadly, "we have people from all walks of life. Jesse Helms is on our board of directors. "After all, who doesn't like to play a practical joke on an orphan?" Dave Burden decvax!decwrl!rhea!cheers!burden 603-881-2559 DEC Nashua, NH "Thank you Sir. May I have another."