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From: anita@drux3.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: "forward women"
Message-ID: <1204@drux3.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 2-Aug-84 16:16:27 EDT
Article-I.D.: drux3.1204
Posted: Thu Aug  2 16:16:27 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 4-Aug-84 00:29:26 EDT
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Denver
Lines: 44

Subject: Re: "forward women"

> on the subject of asking men out:

> ... i don't think it's a very good idea:

> case 1:  the guy already likes you.  then 9 times out of 10, he'll call you.
> so there's no need for you to call him.

> case 2:  he doesn't like you.  then he's going to reject you when you call,
> and we all know that's a drag.

> case 3:  he's undecided.  then 9 times out of 10 your calling him is going to
> put him off, not make him interested.

I have asked a man out on two occasions.  Why not more often?  Well, mainly
because of case one above.  Usually if I'm interested in a guy I make it
of doubts when I actually considered asking him out.  Anyway, my offer
fairly plain (not necessarily intentionally) and if he's interested he'll
make the move.  The two times I took the initiative it was because the
guy seemed interested, but wasn't doing anything about it.  It was
incredibly scary both times, and I think if I didn't fancy myself a
feminist I never would have had the nerve to do it.  I don't know how
guys manage to face the possibility of rejection all the time like that.
Even though I was sure the guy was interested, I came up with all kinds
was happily accepted both times.  The second time was 11 months ago
and the guy is my current SO.  Anyway, I found that both times I felt
much more in control on the date than I've ever been otherwise on a
first date.  I didn't feel intimidated because this stranger was
spending money on me and I therefore owed him something.  (I can't
help it, that's the way I always end up feeling!)  Also, the guys
loved it.  Both times they had their own reasons for not asking, but
were thrilled to be asked.  I've also seen many a romance never get
started because the guy never got the nerve up to ask the woman, so I
really think cases 2 and 3 are not as common as one would think.
Also, when you're going to ask someone out, you tend to think of every
reason in the world that they'll reject you.  My rule of thumb is if I
thought they wanted to go out with me before I thought of asking, that's
the feeling I should go by.  I really think if you have any desire to
ask a guy out, you should go ahead and do it.  It's time for women to
start taking some risks, and the results can be just great.

                                                       Anita