Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: Notesfiles; site okstate.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!okstate!vasoll From: vasoll@okstate.UUCP Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: New Company Policy - (nf) Message-ID: <3800001@okstate.UUCP> Date: Thu, 23-Aug-84 00:23:00 EDT Article-I.D.: okstate.3800001 Posted: Thu Aug 23 00:23:00 1984 Date-Received: Sun, 19-Aug-84 02:21:43 EDT Lines: 53 Nf-ID: #N:okstate:3800001:000:2733 Nf-From: okstate!vasoll Aug 16 23:23:00 1984 #N:okstate:3800001:000:2733 okstate!vasoll Aug 16 23:23:00 1984 N O T I C E ----------- To: ALL EMPLOYEES The attendance record of this establishment is a disgrace. Due to your lack of consideration for your jobs, as shown by such frequent absences, it has become necessary for us to revise some of our policies. The following changes are in effect immediately: SICKNESS....................NO EXCUSE We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. DEATH...........(other than your own) This is no excuse!! There is nothing you can do for them and we are sure that someone else with a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that your work is all completed. LEAVE OF ABSENCE...(for an operation) We are no longer allowing this practice. We believe as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have, and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. DEATH......................(your own) This will be accepted as an excuse, but we shall require a two week notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job. ALSO: ENTIRELY TOO MUCH TIME IS BEING SPENT IN THE RESTROOM!!! In the future we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for instance, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00 to 8:15, "B" will go from 8:15 to 8:30, etc. If you are unable to go at your time it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. THE MANAGEMENT