Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site opus.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!zehntel!hplabs!hao!cires!nbires!opus!rcd From: rcd@opus.UUCP (Dick Dunn) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Asking men out Message-ID: <665@opus.UUCP> Date: Fri, 3-Aug-84 03:03:10 EDT Article-I.D.: opus.665 Posted: Fri Aug 3 03:03:10 1984 Date-Received: Sun, 5-Aug-84 05:32:37 EDT References: <441@ames.UUCP> Organization: NBI, Boulder Lines: 31 >...Neither I, nor any other man I know, has ever >been asked out by a woman,... > So, my question is this: anyone out there know of any men who've >been asked out by women, or any women who've asked men out? We're talking >first approach, here, by the way; if you're not risking your ego on the strong >possibility of a 'no', it doesn't count... Yes, most assuredly so. We're talking first person here, by the way; it's happened to me. (I've also seen it happen, in a way obvious enough that there wasn't any question of where the initiative lay.) It hasn't happened a lot, but it doesn't take many times. I dunno; maybe it's 'cause I've always been pretty quiet/shy around women, even though I can show interest - they probably get tired of waiting for me to make the first move. >...Could it be, as I suspect, >that there are few people of either sex who care to risk rejection if >they are able to rely on others risking rejection from them, instead? I think that's a big part of it. Combine that with the fact that a woman asking a man out is bucking the standard "way things are done", and it becomes even more risky for her to try it. She can get not only the standard ego-blowing polite "no, thanks" but a "no, and what the hell are you doing" reaction. There is one thing to consider: The woman who's willing to ask you out is probably typically different from the one who won't - she's likely to be more self-confident and less constrained by stereotypical roles. -- Dick Dunn {hao,ucbvax,allegra}!nbires!rcd (303)444-5710 x3086 ...Never offend with style when you can offend with substance.