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From: keduh@hogpd.UUCP (D.HUDEK)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: The Modern Little Red Hen
Message-ID: <380@hogpd.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 17-Aug-84 10:07:48 EDT
Article-I.D.: hogpd.380
Posted: Fri Aug 17 10:07:48 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 19-Aug-84 14:04:19 EDT
Lines: 52
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I was cleaning up last night in preparation for a move and came
across the following. As I recall, it was circulated around
[unofficially] at an office I worked at one summer a few years ago.
Submitted with no comment other than and "Sure
it's slanted and biased, but this IS net.flame..." --->
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T H E M O D E R N L I T T L E R E D H E N
Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who scratched
about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She
called her neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have
bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
"Not I", said the cow. "Not I," said the duck. "Not I", said
the pig. "Not I", said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen. And she did. The wheat
grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my
wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck. "Not in my job description," said
the pig. "I'd lose my seniority," said the cow. "I'd lose my unemployment
compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake
the bread?" asked the little red hen.
"That would mean overtime for me," said the cow. "I'd lose
my welfare benefits," said the duck. "I'm a dropout and never learned
how," said the pig. "If I'm the only helper, that's discrimination,"
said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for her neighbors to
see. They all wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the
little red hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves myself."
"Excess profits!" cried the cow. "Capitalist leach!", screamed
the duck. "I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose. And the pig just
grunted. And they painted "unfair" picket signs and marched round and
round the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
When the government agent came, he said to the little red hen,
"You must not be greedy." "But I earned the bread," said the little
red hen. "Exactly," said the agent. "That is the wonderful free
enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants.
But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers
must divide their product with the idle."
And they lived happily ever after, including the little red
hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful. I am grateful."
But her neighbors wondered why she never again baked any
more bread.
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