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From: garret@oddjob.UChicago.UUCP (Trisha O Tuama)
Newsgroups: net.social
Subject: Re: Wedding invitation question
Message-ID: <389@oddjob.UChicago.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 18-Aug-84 16:54:38 EDT
Article-I.D.: oddjob.389
Posted: Sat Aug 18 16:54:38 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 19-Aug-84 04:12:15 EDT
References: <370@tellab1.UUCP>, <155@ios.UUCP>
Organization: U. Chicago: Astronomy & Astrophysics
Lines: 26

*****

Here is an "opposite" point of view (so to speak):  my "friends" Barb and
Larry were married a month before my husband and I were married.  Six
weeks before their wedding, Barb told me that since she and Larry 
were being married in her family church in Tennessee, they had decided
not to invite any of the people they knew in Chicago (ie, four years
accumulation of friends, classmates, bosses, professors, colleagues,
roommates, etc.) and had instead decided to invite only his family (from
NYC) and her parents' friends in Tennessee.  Barb's reasoning went
something like this:  well, most of the people here (Chicago) couldn't or
wouldn't go all the way down there and anyway, we wouldn't have any
place for them to stay, and it just seems like a waste of money to 
send invitations to people who won't be coming to the wedding.
 
My feelings regarding her action were mixed, ranging from amazement to
hurt, as we, obviously, were among the many people Barb and Larry did not
invite.  And, since it now seemed like a waste of money for us to a) buy
them a wedding present; or b) send them an invitation to our wedding,
we did neither.

Trisha O Tuama

ps: the person who mentioned sending out RSVP cards should read what
Miss Manners has to say about this particular aspect of wedding
etiquette.