Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 exptools 1/6/84; site ihuxx.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!we13!ihnp4!ihuxx!ignatz From: ignatz@ihuxx.UUCP (Dave Ihnat, Chicago, IL) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: One liners Message-ID: <655@ihuxx.UUCP> Date: Sat, 4-Feb-84 01:21:22 EST Article-I.D.: ihuxx.655 Posted: Sat Feb 4 01:21:22 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 8-Feb-84 05:26:40 EST References: <282@ih1ap.UUCP> Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL Lines: 30 Well, I don't know about one-line come-ons...but the best slam-dunk reply *I* ever heard was right here, in my home town of Chicago, in a new-town singles bar called Gaffers about 1974. A truly lovely woman was sitting two seats over from me at the bar--the type who is so beautiful that the sight takes your breath away. And obviously there just because she wanted a drink, and knew the bartender. (So did I.) A typical Loop-businessman-drinking-after-work slid into the empty seat between us; you know the type: 7:30 shadow, loose tie, and stale beer on his breath. Obviously started at the happy hour, somewhere, and was hitting his peak. I didn't hear his come on; but she cooly turned, looked him up and down, and said in a loud, clear voice, "I've already got one asshole in my pants. Why do I need another?" Then calmly turned back to her drink. I know it shows no sympathy on my part, but I couldn't help bursting out laughing so hard that I spilled my drink. But then, the bartender was chortling, too. The fellow took about 40 seconds to decode the comment and laughter, before he wobbled off, deflated ego trailing. Since that time, I've heard the line used or told about several times; but this is the earliest I know of, and besides--*I* was there. (Incidentally, I eventually met her. She was a fine person, if you treated her like a *person* instead of nylon stuffer. She'd heard so many come-ons that she'd finally settled on this as the best shutdown.) "I love your dual minifloppies; how's the CPU?" Dave Ihnat ihuxx!ignatz