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From: ignatz@ihuxx.UUCP (Dave Ihnat, Chicago, IL)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: One liners
Message-ID: <655@ihuxx.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 4-Feb-84 01:21:22 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxx.655
Posted: Sat Feb  4 01:21:22 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 8-Feb-84 05:26:40 EST
References: <282@ih1ap.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 30

Well, I don't know about one-line come-ons...but the best slam-dunk
reply *I* ever heard was right here, in my home town of Chicago, in a
new-town singles bar called Gaffers about 1974.  A truly lovely woman
was sitting two seats over from me at the bar--the type who is so
beautiful that the sight takes your breath away.  And obviously there
just because she wanted a drink, and knew the bartender. (So did I.)
A typical Loop-businessman-drinking-after-work slid into the empty seat
between us; you know the type: 7:30 shadow, loose tie, and stale beer
on his breath.  Obviously started at the happy hour, somewhere, and
was hitting his peak.  I didn't hear his come on; but she cooly
turned, looked him up and down, and said in a loud, clear voice,

	"I've already got one asshole in my pants.  Why do I need another?"

Then calmly turned back to her drink.  I know it shows no sympathy on
my part, but I couldn't help bursting out laughing so hard that I
spilled my drink. But then, the bartender was chortling, too.  The
fellow took about 40 seconds to decode the comment and laughter,
before he wobbled off, deflated ego trailing.

Since that time, I've heard the line used or told about several times;
but this is the earliest I know of, and besides--*I* was there.
(Incidentally, I eventually met her.  She was a fine person, if you
treated her like a *person* instead of nylon stuffer.  She'd heard so
many come-ons that she'd finally settled on this as the best
shutdown.)

			"I love your dual minifloppies; how's the CPU?"
					Dave Ihnat
					ihuxx!ignatz