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From: riks@shark.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Song about Lavatory: Possibly offensive
Message-ID: <530@shark.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 26-Feb-84 02:38:51 EST
Article-I.D.: shark.530
Posted: Sun Feb 26 02:38:51 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 25-Feb-84 03:44:12 EST
Organization: Tektronix, Wilsonville OR
Lines: 62

I came across sheet music for a fine old ribald song.

	Oh, Dear! What can the matter be?

CHORUS:
Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat'ry.
They were there from Sunday to Saturday;
	Nobody knew they were there.

The first was the bishop of Chichester's Daughter
Who went in to pass some superfluous water;
She pulled on the chain and the rising tide caught her;
	And nobody knew she was there.

(CHORUS)

The second was the Duchess of Roylett,
Who picked a poor time to go to the toilet;
We were having such fun when she had to spoil it,
	And nobody knew we were there.

(CHORUS)

The third was the Abbess of Church Sweet Surrender 
		(I'm just typin these in: I didn't write this verse!)
Who happened to loosen a nether suspender,
Which somehow got caught in her feminine gender;
	And nobody knew she was there.

(CHORUS)

The next was the fidgety Georgine Treat
whose hair got caught in a cleft in the seat;
She couldn't move: not her *** nor her feet;
	And nobody knew she was there.

(CHORUS)

The next to go in was Old Mrs. Brewster.
She couldn't see quite as well as she used'ter.
She sat on the handle and thought someone goosed her.
	And nobody knew she was there.

(CHORUS)

So urgently entered young Sally Wren
She got the wrong door, but went right on in.
The seats were all took so she stood with the men,
	And EVERYONE knew SHE was there.

(CHORUS)

Etc.
You see how they go?
I remember hearing a quartet sing it at an afterglow with different
(and better!) verses.  But then, they should not be hard
to make up (hint, hint).
I'd be glad to collect further verses...
mail to me and I'll post later.
Rik Smoody
Tektronix