Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site watmath.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!saquigley From: saquigley@watmath.UUCP (Sophie Quigley) Newsgroups: net.kids,net.motss Subject: Re: Child sexuality, incest and trauma Message-ID: <6782@watmath.UUCP> Date: Fri, 3-Feb-84 17:52:45 EST Article-I.D.: watmath.6782 Posted: Fri Feb 3 17:52:45 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 8-Feb-84 01:04:10 EST References: <702@wateng.UUCP> Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario Lines: 43 I tend to agree with you on the points you have made, but not completely. I think that parents have a great influence on the way their parents view sexuality, but peers and society are also extremely important. I think it is too easy to isolate certain elements such as the role of the parents and think that simply changing parents' attitudes will solve the problem I think our whole society's attitude has to be changed at the same time. You probably agree with me on this, so I am not trying to contradict what you have said, but simply emphasise a different point. My main concern over this NAMBLA resolution on inter-generation sexuality is that it seems to imply that simply removing laws regulating such sexuality will solve all our problems. I think that changing attitudes first is much more important. While society keeps the attitude that sex is something in which someone exploits somebody else, then laws which protect the weak ones from being exploited make a LOT of sense, and I think it would be VERY dangerous to remove such laws; Now, I said in a previous message that I believed there is a difference between child and adult sexuality. I still believe that is so, but I also believe that child sexuality is much more healthy than adult sexuality. Let's face it, our society considers sex to be something dirty and shameful. It also links sex with violence and exploitation. No matter how much we disagree with all of these, we carry it all within ourselves and we are influenced by these attitudes Do we want to pass these on to children and make them aware of such things? personnally, I'd rather not. I think the latter children find out about such attitudes, the greater the chance that they will not be influenced by them and will reject them. I think THAT's important; If our children grow up with a more healthy view of sexuality, then society will start to have a more healthy attitude towards it. This, of course, is a vicious circle. One could very well argue that the way for children to have a nice attitude about sexuality is to show them a nice one. I agree 100%. Now, when one pushes this argument to having sex with children, I don't agree anymore. I think it is too dangerous. Who decides who should have sex with kids and who shouldn't? so many of us are already quite selfish with our adult sexual partners, why should we be different with children? how will we tell how much is enough for each child? Also who decides what is a "healthy" attitude towards sex? all these questions need to be answered before we do something as drastic as letting adults have sex with children. Finally, and most importantly, do we distrust children so much that we think that they will not be able to find out for themselves how nice sex can be and how they want to live their sexual lives? if this is so, that says a lot about us, and children would probably be better off without our advice.