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From: ignatz@ihuxx.UUCP (Dave Ihnat, Chicago, IL)
Newsgroups: net.misc,net.wines
Subject: Re: Hangover Cure Wanted!
Message-ID: <653@ihuxx.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 3-Feb-84 23:12:32 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxx.653
Posted: Fri Feb  3 23:12:32 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 8-Feb-84 05:15:09 EST
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Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
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Ok, you asked for it!   This has been an important topic for me, and I
haven't hesitated to incorporate the best of both personal experience
with the recommendations of the "Masters".  So, following is the
method I use for those really incredible hangovers...the ones where I
wake up under the mattress.  (I own a water bed.)

Now, this isn't just try-and-fail; some of the following was reasoned
from many discussions with nurses and doctors who are fellow imbibers;
the rest, extracted from an excellent text, "The Hangover Handbook",
by David E. Outerbridge (Harmony Books, New York, copyright 1981 by
David E. Outerbridge and Rae Lindsay, ISBN: 0-517-545845 (cloth),
0-517-543567 (paper)). (That ought to convince you that this is real!)
This text confirmed many of my medical speculations, and in addition,
provides detailed medical descriptions of just what you're doing to
yourself when over-indulging in drink; numerous reasons to ignore
the terrible effects you just learned about; anecdotes throughout
history concerning this oldest of pasttimes; and, finally, dozens of
remedies, rated according to their efficicacy.  So, on with...

PROBLEM:  Why do you feel horrible?
ANSWER:	To simplify, you're dehydrated and your blood electrolytes are
shot to hell.  You've loaded yourself with impurities, too--congeners
and aldehydes, which are poisons in their own right.  These have to be
metabolized, requiring protein and oxygen.  Alcohol causes
important elements such as magnesium, potassium, and calcium to be
temporarily unavailable, leading (in part) to tremors.  (How?  Not
here.  Study the books.)  It also washes away vitamins B1, B6, and C.
Alcohol inhibits REM sleep--this is why you can sleep 8 hours, and
still be tired and irritable.  Finally, neurons react to the presence
of a depressant such as alcohol by becoming more sensitive; it takes
time to re-adapt.  Thus, the sensitivity to light, sound, etc.  So, of
all the offered remedies, I've settled on the following; in light of
the foregoing discussion, you should be able to guess the reason for
each component.

1) DRINKING IS AN ART.  Be an artist.  Plan these things; eat a
   *hearty* meal beforehand, high in protein and minerals.  The old
   bit about grease is, surprisingly, not too crazy.  The slower the
   rate of absorption, the better.  Incidentally, vitamin C is a
   chelating agent for numerous congeners, especially aldehyde; so is
   cabbage.  Stoke up before drinking!

2) AVOID THE WORST.  If you have a tendency to drink light liquors,
   indulge it.  The darker the liquor--bourbon, as opposed to
   vodka--the more impurities.  (This is, of course, almost impossible
   to do.)  I don't do this; Jack Daniels' is my bane and my joy.
   Usually in reverse order.

3) GO TO BED:  Here, you may look ahead.  Take a few glasses of water
   to anticipate the dehydration.  Also, take the following witches'
   brew--lay it out before leaving, if you may forget.  If you don't
   do it tonight, then do it when you get up; but your stomach, after
   you've scoured the lining with alcohol, may not love it:

	Vitamins:	A  - 2x normal daily dosage
			B1 - 4x normal daily dosage
			B6 - 4x normal daily dosage
			C  - 500-1000 mg

	Minerals:	Nioxin		- 10-20 mg
			Calcium		- 250 mg
			Magnesium	- 250 mg
			Potassium	- 1 tsp. KCl solution.
	
3) SLEEP!  If you do enough of this, you may even miss the whole
   thing.  Unfortunately, sometimes we have to get up.  Like for
   work...so we go to:

4) REMEDIAL ACTION:  You already did it, with or without the above
   precautions, and HAVE to get up.  Now is the time to recover:

	-Drink fluids.  Contrary to popular fables, you won't get drunk
	 again, although you may feel light-headed or dizzy; understand
	 that your body has been ABUSED.  In light of the above
	 explanations, preferentially drink fruit juices--vitamins,
	 especially C, and sugar for your depleted metabolism--or even
	 soda pop, if you must.  AVOID diet sodas; while they provide
	 fluid replenishment, that's all.  You need more.  Incidentally, a
	 cold watermelon provides liquid and simple sugars, and the cold
	 feels good both in the mouth and throat.

	-Take a hot shower.  Obviously, this will speed the metabolism,
	 aside from washing that hideous stench of stale smoke and sweat
	 from your trembling body.  Along the same lines, run a mile,
	 workout, or whatever else you tend to lean toward to work
	 your metabolism up to a higher pitch.  You'll feel worse
	 during the workout, but better much sooner.  (I cheat here.
	 I'll take a hot sauna over the workout, but WARNING!  Your
	 body is shaky; it may not be able to take the same
	 sauna-punishment when hungover as when sober, so use
	 caution.)

	-EAT.  No matter how it feels, eat a full meal.  Especially lean
	 toward foods rich in protein, vitamins, and--you guessed--cabbage!

	-SLEEP.  If  you can, go back to sleep.  Otherwise, don't
	 forget to take your vitamins if you forgot them before going
	 to bed.  By this time, you will probably still feel 'not
	 quite right', but you will have purged yourself of most of
	 the foul symptoms.

FINALLY:  Avoid aspirin.  Your headache and body pains and tremors are
a combination of a lot of things, and the aspirin (or Tylenol, or
whatever) will not be able to solve them.  If you need an antacid,
well, maybe...but wait until after eating and drinking some fruit
juices and water.  Finally...the one problem I mentioned above, that I
haven't addressed, is the neuron sensitivity.  Believe it or not, a
small amount of the hair of the dog *will* help.  The single Bloody
Mary will help...have it before eating.

This was longer than I meant it to be, but this *is* a serious
subject.  Believe me, this regimen is easy to follow and will make it
distressingly easy for you to shrug off incredible binges!

			From the tired liver of

				Dave Ihnat
				ihuxx!ignatz