Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 exptools 1/6/84; site ihuxw.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!ihuxw!pector From: pector@ihuxw.UUCP (Scott W. Pector) Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish Subject: Re: Mixed marriages Message-ID: <719@ihuxw.UUCP> Date: Thu, 23-Feb-84 14:23:03 EST Article-I.D.: ihuxw.719 Posted: Thu Feb 23 14:23:03 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 24-Feb-84 02:19:33 EST References: <121@nwuxd.UUCP> Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL Lines: 55 Darryl, To respond to your questions: My father is Jewish and my mother is Catholic. My mother was excommunicated when they were married (possibly because she didn't say her children were going to be raised as Catholics, but I'm not certain). In my parents' case, they decided that any boys would be raised as Jews and any girls would be raised as Catholics. When my sister was born, my father said "Hell no! They'll all be Jewish!" Consequently, neither my sister nor myself were raised in any specific faith. Instead, we were told to occasionally read the Bible (particularly the Old Testament). Given that sort of encouragement and the fact that I grew up in Skokie, IL (surely you readers have heard of it by now!), I have leaned more towards Jewish teachings when it comes to religion and philosophy. My wife is Catholic. When we got married in 1981, I had to promise to raise any children as Catholics in order for the wedding to be performed by a priest in my wife's church. I have gone to church with her approxi- mately once a year. Further, she has recently been trying out going to a Lutheran church. Until she makes up her mind, I'm not going to church this year! :-) It's not clear to me how our kids will be raised (we're waiting a couple more years before starting a family). I feel a little bound to honor my agreement with the Catholic church, but my wife says that if she stays a Lutheran, she wants the kids to be taught in the same faith. For my part, I don't worry too much; better that than the kids raised as Moonies (hee-hee)! In all seriousness, I think that it is important for kids to be exposed to some faith while they are growing up, but they should also be encouraged to examine others and to be willing to follow another religion if their judgment leads them to do so (particularly once they reach their late teens and early 20s). For me, I just want my wife to answer the question "why doesn't Daddy go to church with us? Isn't he going to be damned?" with "Daddy doesn't go since the only person he can listen to for an hour without interrupting is himself." (Thanks to Mark Twain for that gem) As far as statuary is concerned, I think the only thing we have like that is the palm leaf my wife gets each year on Palm Sunday. Of course, we have bibles and other religious writings. Her family does not try to anoint me at all; in fact, they never discuss religion with me. I think that is the best thing for relatives and in-laws. The last thing that I can think of is that my wife (who is about to graduate from the U. of Chicago School of Medicine) does not want our sons (if any) to be circumcised. She views the operation as entirely unnecessary. My response to that has been that I'll meet her halfway: the girls won't be circumcised, but the boys will! We still have to work this one out, but I think I'm going to win this one. I, too, would be interested in hearing more from others on "mixed" marriages. Scott Pector