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From: jrb@wdl1.UUCP (John R Blaker)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: stuph
Message-ID: <168@wdl1.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 27-Feb-84 01:47:47 EST
Article-I.D.: wdl1.168
Posted: Mon Feb 27 01:47:47 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 23-Feb-84 04:32:26 EST
Lines: 43

...Quotes

A few weeks ago I (Evelyn) and my mate went to see a collection of local comics
at the Stone (a San Francisco club); they were Bob Golthwaite (Bobcat), Steve
Kravitz, Al Cleatham, and Steven Perl.  Following are a few "moments" from the
show. (If any of them appear in your town, SEE!)

"[The arresting traffic officer] asked me if I had a police record.  "No," I 
said, "but I do have the new Devo album."  Cops have no sense of humor..."

"Michael Jackson's favorite charity:  The Ignited Negro College Fund."

"Q.  Why did the Polish person wrap his hamster in electrical tape?"  This joke
was by the MC, Alex Bennett the DJ, currently of KQAK San Francisco; formerly
of New York where he made history by starting the whole Paul Is Dead hoax.  He
had been telling this joke on the air all week to his studio audience, then 
bleeping out the answer.  The reason I am telling you this is to create some 
idea of the suspense he had been creating, because every day the audience would
be HOWLING with laughter.  Then he'd promise to tell the joke at the show, and
that the answer would be either the biggest dissappointment or the biggest laugh
of our lives.  So, Mr. Bennett, why DID the Polish person wrap his hamster in
electrical tape?
"A.  So it wouldn't burst when he fucked it."

"[sung]'The kid is not my son'...I believe him, man."

I won't go into detail, but one person sang the Green Acres song to the tune of
Purple Haze; it worked.

"I don't understand...
	Why hotels don't print the Do Not Disturb signs in the language the maid
reads.
	Why they keep printing that recipe for Mock Apple Pie on the back of the
Ritz boxes."

"The other day I bought the wrong brand of cat food, and kitty wouldn't eat.
Let's stick kitty in the closet for five weeks.  I think he'll eat."

That'll do for now.


Evelyn
(a modified dog)