Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site news.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!eagle!allegra!alice!rabbit!news!bulletin From: bulletin@news.UUCP Newsgroups: net.flame Subject: WOMBAT MENACE ELIMINATED Message-ID: <85@news.UUCP> Date: Mon, 13-Feb-84 09:46:45 EST Article-I.D.: news.85 Posted: Mon Feb 13 09:46:45 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 15-Feb-84 03:49:32 EST Organization: Wombat News Network Lines: 28 Middletown, NJ, Sat. 11 Feb. 84, Slug-Wombatsdead At 2215 on Saturday, Feburary 11, 1984, the wombat menace to the free world was eliminated. The giant mother wombat, on one of her rare forays above ground, was struck and killed by a 1983 Buick X-Car. The driver of the car, identified only as "Woodstock" or "MPB" (sic) said, "And I just thought that I ran over another one of those (adjective) oppossums. I wondered why the bump sounded so important." The driver's companion, identified as T. Ursus (sic!) commented, "There was something soooo significant about that thump. I just couldn't figure it out. Then the people from the Wombat Squad came and told us what happened. It's a shame there wasn't a reward, we could both use a vacation after this." Tim Moroney, chief of the Wombat Squad, which has been diligently working to eliminate the Wombat Menace for several years, commented, "It's ironic. After all that effort, the menace was done in by the Wombat's instinct to freeze when confronted by bright lights. Really ironic. Almost tragic, in a way, to see such a splendid enemy pass away in such an ignomious fashion." The President will speak at 7 PM this Monday on the new state of the nation, now that the wombat menace has been contained. "Good work, and bless you very much" were the President's comments. L.Greystoke-byline Middletown NJ WNN