Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site gatech.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!akgua!gatech!spaf From: spaf@gatech.UUCP (Gene Spafford) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: opcodes Message-ID: <3969@gatech.UUCP> Date: Thu, 16-Feb-84 00:38:09 EST Article-I.D.: gatech.3969 Posted: Thu Feb 16 00:38:09 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 17-Feb-84 02:32:47 EST Organization: The Clouds Project, School of ICS, Georgia Tech Lines: 72 Well, we've had the following article in the GaTech Software Tools Subsystem news file since February of 1980. I don't know who to credit as author, since it was published by user "system". Anyhow, without further ado: FOURTH GENERATION FROM ICC Timely introduction of a true fourth-generation computer was made last week by ICC (Inoperable Computer Corporation). The unit features UNIVAC I emulation, a Chinese character set, 1401 incompatibility, and is expected to be all things to few people some of the time. The following partial list of instructions illustrates the vast potential of this new computer. Branch on Burned out Indicator Sharpen Light Pencil Branch on Blinking Indicator Transfer and Drop Bits Branch and Hang Erase Card Punch Branch on Chip Box Full Read Interrecord Gap Branch on Power Off Read Noise Record Branch on Bug Update and Erase Record Inquire and Ignore Erase Read Only Storage Reverse Parity and Branch Destroy Storage Protect Key Read and Write While Ripping Tape Move and Lose Record Divide and Overflow Move and Wrap Core Subtract and Reset to Zero Develop Ineffective Address Add and Reset to Zero Halt and Catch Fire Scramble Program Status Word Scatter Printer Punch Unreadable Character Reinitialize Meter Read and Scramble Data Invert Record and Branch Select Stacker and Jam Reduce Thruput Read Invalid Character Print and Break Chain Rewind Card Reader Lose Message and Branch Forms Skip and Runaway Illogical "or" Stacker Select Disk Illogical "and" Write Wrong Length Record Triple-pack Decimal Write Noise Record Slip Disk Seek and Scar Disk Stacker Upset Eject Disk Uncouple CPU's and Branch Eject Drum Terminate Terminal Users Eject Operator Branch Occasionally Rewind Disk Scramble Channels Backspace Disk Rewind and Break Tape Punch Disk Make Tape Invalid Punch Operator Reverse Drum Immediate Execute Invalid Op Code Transfer and Lose Return Feed Card and Jam Print and Smear Trap and Execute Operator Stop and Stretch Tapes Clear Memory and Branch Read and Shred Card Increase and Multiply Divide and Conquer Scrape Disk Branch on Sleepy Operator Search and Destroy Empty Bit Bucket Reorder and Replace Vacuum Tube Burn Out Memory Chip Dump Memory on Floor Shuffle Cards and Deal Elusive Or As you can tell, this just about takes care of a well- rounded hardware instruction set. We are now developing a suitable operating system. We are soliciting suggestions from our user community for system calls (supervisor calls, monitor requests, etc.) to be incorporated in the initial release version. Already suggested have been "Intersperse Print Files", "Ignore System Console", and "Randomize All Passwords". -- Off the Wall of Gene Spafford The Clouds Project, School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332 CSNet: Spaf @ GATech ARPA: Spaf.GATech @ CSNet-Relay uucp: ...!{akgua,allegra,rlgvax,sb1,unmvax,ulysses,ut-sally}!gatech!spaf