Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site denelcor.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!eagle!harpo!seismo!hao!denelcor!rob From: rob@denelcor.UUCP (Rob Wahl) Newsgroups: net.motss Subject: Coming out Message-ID: <310@denelcor.UUCP> Date: Tue, 7-Feb-84 23:06:24 EST Article-I.D.: denelcor.310 Posted: Tue Feb 7 23:06:24 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 10-Feb-84 01:22:30 EST Organization: Denelcor, Aurora, CO Lines: 30 For me, the process of "coming out" to my friends and co-workers wasn't nearly as difficult as making the decision to come out. The reason I came out was because I felt I could never lead a normal life as long as I was hiding such a large part of my life. How can you think positively about yourself if you are constantly negating yourself? How do you choose the right moment to come out to someone? Well, I really didn't want to make a big thing out of it - it shouldn't be a big deal - so when someone would ask me what I did over the weekend, I'd tell them I went dancing with Rick at the Foxhole, or I went to chorus rehearsal (Oh? What chorus? The Denver Gay Men's Chorus). This kept me from acting a scene out of "True Confessions", and allowed them to gloss over the matter without a confrontation. Coming out to my parents was different. Whatever reaction they had, I didn't want them to think they made me gay. They could hate me, feel sorry for me, anything, as long as they wouldn't think they were responsible. As it turned out, what hurt my mother most was that I hadn't told her sooner. She still worries about me (she's afraid I'll get knifed by a psychopathic lover, or get AIDS), but I'm closer to my family than I've ever been before. A note to women: Please, please don't feel that your input is not wanted! This newsgroup is as much for lesbian issues as for gaymale ones. For that matter, no one ever said you had to be gay to comment on gay topics. Some of my best friends are fruit flies :-) Robert Wahl Aurora, Colorado {hao,nbires,allegra}!denelcor!rob