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From: wetcw@pyuxa.UUCP (T C Wheeler)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Tom Swifty Time
Message-ID: <535@pyuxa.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 31-Jan-84 15:46:57 EST
Article-I.D.: pyuxa.535
Posted: Tue Jan 31 15:46:57 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 5-Feb-84 04:12:10 EST
Organization: Central Services Org., Piscataway N.J.
Lines: 59

Tom Swifty Time
 The following is the beginnings of a story, "Tom Swift and His Electric
Martini Mixer."  For those who know, feel free to add to the story.

Tom sat unmoving at the bar.  He stared deeply into his empty glass.
"I'll have another beer." Tom said thirstily.
"Draft." said the bartender drawing him out.
"Draft." said Tom coolly.
"That'll be fifty cents." the bartender said calculatingly.
"Here's two dimes, a nickle, and a quarter." Tom countered.
"Who's the girl at the end of the bar." Tom quizzed.
"I don't know." the bartender grined dumbly.
"Give her a drink on me." Tom said lustily.
"What's your name honey." Tom called sweetly.
"None of your damn business." she returned profainly.
"May I join you?" Tom remarked, organizing his thoughts.
"Be my guest." she said invitingly.
"Oops, I've tripped." Tom faltered.
"Watch out!  Your falling." the girl observed..
"This floor is hard." Tom said flatly.
"Did you hurt yourself." she asked harmlessly.
"I twisted my ankle." Tom remarked gamely.
"I hope its not bad." the girl said wishfully.
"I can still walk on it." Tom said lamely.
"Those bar stools are too high." she said loftily.
"Bring us two martinis." Tom called roundly.
"Coming right up." said the bartender fetchingly.
"My name is Tom." Tom said swiftly.
"My name's a secret." she said guardely.
"Maybe she's a spy." Tom thought secretly.
"Your very pretty." Tom said disclosedly.
"Your just saying that." she said agreeably.
"May I escort you home." Tom said leadingly.
"What kind of girl do you think I am." she said insinuatingly.
"The kind one writes poems to." Tom said adversly.
"Your just pulling my leg." she appended.
"I think that's a good idea." said Tom thoughtfully.
"Your a real card." said the girl wistfully.
"Yes I am." said Tom agreeably.
"You'll have to behave if I go with you." she said warningly.
"Of course.  You can trust me." Tom belied.
"I believe you." the girl said distrustfully.
"I'm a gentleman." Tom said manfully.
"Your check is four seventy-five." the bartender said biliously.
"What kind of whiskey did you use in those drinks." Tom said blindly.
"Calverts." the bartender reservedly.
"Your prices are rather high." Tom said expensively.
"Well, this pistol says their low." the bartender said aimlessly.
"Be careful with that deadly weapon." said Tom gravely.
"Not until you pay up." the bartender pointed out.
"OK, here's a five.  Keep the change." Tom said richly.
"Come on.  Let's get out of this hole." the girl said deeply.
"Where do you live." Tom said in a homey voice.
"Rome." said the girl romantically.
"That's a long way from here." Tom said distantly.


Ok, folks.  It's your turn.