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From: rob@denelcor.UUCP (Rob Wahl)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Coming out
Message-ID: <310@denelcor.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 7-Feb-84 23:06:24 EST
Article-I.D.: denelcor.310
Posted: Tue Feb  7 23:06:24 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 10-Feb-84 01:22:30 EST
Organization: Denelcor, Aurora, CO
Lines: 30

For me, the process of "coming out" to my friends and co-workers wasn't nearly
as difficult as making the decision to come out.  The reason I came out was
because I felt I could never lead a normal life as long as I was hiding such
a large part of my life.  How can you think positively about yourself if you
are constantly negating yourself?

How do you choose the right moment to come out to someone?  Well, I really
didn't want to make a big thing out of it - it shouldn't be a big deal - so
when someone would ask me what I did over the weekend, I'd tell them I went
dancing with Rick at the Foxhole, or I went to chorus rehearsal (Oh? What
chorus?  The Denver Gay Men's Chorus).  This kept me from acting a scene
out of "True Confessions", and allowed them to gloss over the matter without
a confrontation.

Coming out to my parents was different.  Whatever reaction they had, I didn't
want them to think they made me gay.  They could hate me, feel sorry for me,
anything, as long as they wouldn't think they were responsible.  As it turned
out, what hurt my mother most was that I hadn't told her sooner.  She still
worries about me (she's afraid I'll get knifed by a psychopathic lover, or
get AIDS), but I'm closer to my family than I've ever been before.

A note to women:  Please, please don't feel that your input is not wanted!
This newsgroup is as much for lesbian issues as for gaymale ones.  For that
matter, no one ever said you had to be gay to comment on gay topics.

Some of my best friends are fruit flies :-)

Robert Wahl
Aurora, Colorado
{hao,nbires,allegra}!denelcor!rob