Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 exptools 1/6/84; site ihuxi.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!ihuxi!snafu From: snafu@ihuxi.UUCP (Dave Wallis) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: More (urgently!) needed instructions Message-ID: <799@ihuxi.UUCP> Date: Sat, 11-Feb-84 15:25:39 EST Article-I.D.: ihuxi.799 Posted: Sat Feb 11 15:25:39 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 15-Feb-84 04:27:34 EST Organization: AT&T Technologies, Inc., Naperville Il. Lines: 88 OK, enough is enough. If I have to read all of YOUR drivel, you have to read mine too!!!!! When I design my own computer, it will definately support these instructions. Maybe then I'll be able to do some real work. AAC ..... Alter All Commands AAR ..... Alter At Random AB ...... Add Backwards AFVC .... Add Finagle's Variable Constant AIB ..... Attack Innocent Bystander AWTT .... Assemble With Tinker Toys BAC ..... Branch to Alpha Centauri BAF ..... Blow All Fuses BCIL .... Branch Creating Infinite Loop BDC ..... Break Down and Cry BF ...... Belch Fire BDT ..... Burn Data Tree BW ...... Branch on Whim CBNC .... Close, But No Cigar CH ...... Create Havoc CMD ..... Compare Meaningless Data CML ..... Compute Meaning of Life COLB .... Crash for Operator's Lunch Break CRASH ... Continue Running After Stop or Halt CS ...... Crash System CSL ..... Curse and Swear Loudly CVG ..... ConVert to Garbage DBZ ..... Divide By Zero DDC ..... Dally During Calculations DMPE .... Decide to Major in Phys. Ed. DOC ..... Drive Operator Crazy DLN ..... Don't Look Now..... DPMI .... Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent DPR ..... Destroy Program DTC ..... Destroy This Command DTVFL ... Destroy Third Variable From Left DW ...... Destroy World ECO ..... Electrocute Computer Operator EIAO .... Execute In Any Order ENF ..... Emit Noxious Fumes EP ...... Execute Programmer FLI ..... Flash Lights Impressively FSM ..... Fold, Spindle, and Mutilate GCAR .... Get Correct Answer Regardless GDP ..... Grin Defiantly at Programmer HCF ..... Halt and Catch Fire HCP ..... Hide Central Processor ISC ..... Insert Sarcastic Comments JTZ ..... Jump to Twilight Zone LAP ..... Laugh At Program(mer) LPA ..... Lead Programmer Astray MAZ ..... Multiply Answer by Zero MW ...... Malfunction Whenever MWT ..... Malfunction Without Telling OML ..... Obey Murphy's Laws PEHC .... Punch Extra Holes in Cards PNRP .... Print Nasty replies to Programmer RA ...... Randomize Answer RCB ..... Read Commands Backward RDA ..... Refuse to Disclose Answer RLI ..... Rotate Left Indefinitely RPM ..... Read Programmer's Mind RRSGWSSNK Round and Round She Goes, Where She Stops, Nobody Knows SAI ..... Skip All Instructions SCCA .... Short Circuit on Correct Answer SFH ..... Set Flags to Half-mast SFT ..... Stall For Time SOS ..... Sign Off, Stupid SRDR .... Shift Right, Double Rediculous TARC .... Take Arithmatic Review Course TLO ..... Turn indicator Lights Off TN ...... Take a Nap TPDH .... Tell Programmer to Do it Him/Her self TTA ..... Try, Try Again UP ...... Understand Program YKWIM ... You Know What I Mean WSWW .... Work in Strange and Wonderous Ways P.S. it took a long time to collect all of these! -- Dave Wallis ihnp4!ihuxi!snafu AT&T Technologies, Inc. (312) 979-5894