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From: saquigley@watmath.UUCP (Sophie Quigley)
Newsgroups: net.kids,net.motss
Subject: Re: Child sexuality, incest and trauma
Message-ID: <6782@watmath.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 3-Feb-84 17:52:45 EST
Article-I.D.: watmath.6782
Posted: Fri Feb  3 17:52:45 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 8-Feb-84 01:04:10 EST
References: <702@wateng.UUCP>
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 43

I tend to agree with you on the points you have made, but not completely.
I think that parents have a great influence on the way their parents view
sexuality, but peers and society are also extremely important.

I think it is too easy to isolate certain elements such as the role of the
parents and think that simply changing parents' attitudes will solve the problem
I think our whole society's attitude has to be changed at the same time.  You
probably agree with me on this, so I am not trying to contradict what you have
said, but simply emphasise a different point.  My main concern over
this NAMBLA resolution on inter-generation sexuality is that it seems to
imply that simply removing laws regulating such sexuality will solve all
our problems.  I think that changing attitudes first is much more important.
While society keeps the attitude that sex is something in which someone exploits
somebody else, then laws which protect the weak ones from being exploited make
a LOT of sense, and I think it would be VERY dangerous to remove such laws;

Now, I said in a previous message that I believed there is a difference between
child and adult sexuality.  I still believe that is so, but I also believe that
child sexuality is much more healthy than adult sexuality.  Let's face it, our
society considers sex to be something dirty and shameful.  It also links sex
with violence and exploitation.  No matter how much we disagree with all of
these, we carry it all within ourselves and we are influenced by these attitudes
Do we want to pass these on to children and make them aware of such things?
personnally, I'd rather not.  I think the latter children find out about such
attitudes, the greater the chance that they will not be influenced by them and
will reject them.  I think THAT's important; If our children grow up with a more
healthy view of sexuality, then society will start to have a more healthy 
attitude towards it.

This, of course, is a vicious circle.  One could very well argue that the way
for children to have a nice attitude about sexuality is to show them a nice
one.  I agree 100%.  Now, when one pushes this argument to having sex with
children, I don't agree anymore.  I think it is too dangerous.  Who decides
who should have sex with kids and who shouldn't?  so many of us are already
quite selfish with our adult sexual partners, why should we be different
with children?  how will we tell how much is enough for each child?  Also
who decides what is a "healthy" attitude towards sex?  all these questions
need to be answered before we do something as drastic as letting adults have
sex with children.  Finally, and most importantly, do we distrust children
so much that we think that they will not be able to find out for themselves
how nice sex can be and how they want to live their sexual lives?  if this
is so, that says a lot about us, and children would probably be better off
without our advice.