Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 exptools 1/6/84; site ihuxq.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!we13!ihnp4!ihuxq!amigo2 From: amigo2@ihuxq.UUCP (John Hobson) Newsgroups: net.motss Subject: Re: coming out Message-ID: <617@ihuxq.UUCP> Date: Wed, 8-Feb-84 13:00:40 EST Article-I.D.: ihuxq.617 Posted: Wed Feb 8 13:00:40 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 10-Feb-84 02:16:13 EST References: <6788@watmath.UUCP> Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL Lines: 37 My younger brother is gay, and when he decided to the our parents about it, he came to me to get some advice about how to tell them (just for the record, I am not gay). After telling him that his sexual orientation made no difference to the way I felt about him (he had been afraid to tell me for years because he feared that I would reject him), we discussed what we thought might be our parents' reaction. As it turned out, we got their reactions completely backwards--we thought that our father would refuse to accept it while our mother would be supportive, and it was the other way round. One result of his opening up to me was that it made us closer than we had been in years. He now feels that there is someone in the family that he can confide in, and his openness to me has made it easier for me to be open to him. However, whenever I think of him, I do think of him as "my gay brother", not as "my brother". (We have another brother whom I think of as "my twin brother", but that is a very different--and very special--relationship). I love him, and I care about him, but his homosexuality keeps intruding when I think about him. I was raised in a fairly traditional Catholic atmosphere, where "queers" were looked down on. I try to accept other people as people, but I still get twinges of racism, sexism, and homophobia. I try to fight them, but they are still there, and, I suspect, always will be. I will say that the only time I spurned a relationship because of someone's homosexuality was when he kept making passes at me, even though I let him know that I simply was not interested. If he had not kept doing it, I would have liked to have kept him as a friend. John Hobson AT&T Bell Labs Naperville, IL (312) 979-0193 ihnp4!ihuxq!amigo2