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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!eagle!allegra!alice!rabbit!news!bulletin
From: bulletin@news.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: WOMBAT MENACE ELIMINATED
Message-ID: <85@news.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 13-Feb-84 09:46:45 EST
Article-I.D.: news.85
Posted: Mon Feb 13 09:46:45 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 15-Feb-84 03:49:32 EST
Organization: Wombat News Network
Lines: 28


Middletown, NJ, Sat. 11 Feb. 84,
Slug-Wombatsdead

	At 2215 on Saturday, Feburary 11, 1984, the wombat menace
to the free world was eliminated.  The giant mother wombat, on one
of her rare forays above ground, was struck and killed by a 1983
Buick X-Car.  
	The driver of the car, identified only as
"Woodstock" or "MPB" (sic) said, "And I just thought that
I ran over another one of those (adjective) oppossums.  I wondered
why the bump sounded so important."  The driver's companion,
identified as T. Ursus (sic!) commented, "There was something
soooo significant about that thump. I just couldn't figure it
out.  Then the people from the Wombat Squad came and told us
what happened.  It's a shame there wasn't a reward, we could both
use a vacation after this."
	Tim Moroney, chief of the Wombat Squad, which has
been diligently working to eliminate the Wombat Menace for several
years, commented,  "It's ironic.  After all that effort, the
menace was done in by the Wombat's instinct to freeze when confronted
by bright lights.  Really ironic.  Almost tragic, in a way, to see
such a splendid enemy pass away in such an ignomious fashion."
	The President will speak at 7 PM this Monday on the
new state of the nation, now that the wombat menace has been 
contained.  "Good work, and bless you very much" were the
President's comments.
L.Greystoke-byline Middletown NJ WNN