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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!exodus!mhtsa!mh3bs!eagle!hou5h!hou5g!jrt
From: jrt@hou5g.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Two meanings (NEEDS) for "sensitivity"
Message-ID: <340@hou5g.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 6-Feb-84 16:44:08 EST
Article-I.D.: hou5g.340
Posted: Mon Feb  6 16:44:08 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 9-Feb-84 09:14:05 EST
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Holmdel, NJ
Lines: 21

>>   Consider this: if you are so sensitive that what has your friend crying
>> gets you crying too, how can you give them any help?  One needs a stable
>> base *from* which to offer help.  

   I understand the need for "sensitivity and non-sensitivity", however part
of me wonders if you can TRULY comprehend everything that your friend is going
through by being "objective".  in order to fully understand what your friend
is going through, you need to be able to become so close to their situation,
that you can start to 'feel' what they feel.  Getting that close says that
you must also cry, with them.  

   The advantage that you have, is that you still should have that link, or
thread back to objectivity that you can share with your friend.  The problem
with being 'objective' is that you can only see things from that viewpoint,
and can not comprehend the feelings that go with the particular situation in
question.  You need to be able to see things from BOTH sides, which implies
that you have to be able to cry with your friend.  This also has the 
advantage of letting your friend know that you DO understand, that you DO
feel, that you do care about them and the situation that they are in.

		with LOVE, (** FRODO **) alias hou5g!jrt