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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!floyd!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!marla
From: marla@ssc-vax.UUCP (Marla S Baer)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: re:Do [wo]mens attitudes change toward you when you get engaged?
Message-ID: <842@ssc-vax.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 20-Feb-84 14:17:35 EST
Article-I.D.: ssc-vax.842
Posted: Mon Feb 20 14:17:35 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 21-Feb-84 08:23:09 EST
Organization: Boeing Aerospace, Seattle
Lines: 31

In his article, Avi Gross says:

> I got engaged a month ago, and have been noticing a change in the attitudes
> of women friends. Suddenly, many of them are much friendlier, more open, 
> and even less reserved. [Does this] make me more desirable somehow as
> something they can't get? Am I suddenly safe because I am not likely to be
> chasing after them. Can they relate to me better now that I seem to lack
> ulterior motives? Is it possible that they are reacting to the fact that I am 
> less anxious and more content and in love?

Is it possible that YOU are acting in a different mannor?  Now that
you are engaged, you probably do not look upon these women as a
challenge.  (I do not mean this in a derogatory way.) I know that
prior to my engagement I tended to look upon every guy I met as a
possible date/mate. I noticed that they seemed to play up to it,
competing for me, so to speak.  Most of it was unintentional, and I
don't think I realized the situation until after I became engaged.
Now, when I meet a guy, I can think of them in terms of "what knd of
friend will he be?"  instead of "what kind of date will he make?"

As a result, I find I've become more relaxed in ths type of
situation and people tend to react to me better.

By the way, I've tended to notice this type of behavor among most of
my unattached friends, both male and female.

Marla S. Baer
ssc-vax!marla