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From: avi@pegasus.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.social
Subject: Re: Naming - letting the kids choose their own names
Message-ID: <929@pegasus.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 13-Feb-84 18:19:57 EST
Article-I.D.: pegasus.929
Posted: Mon Feb 13 18:19:57 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 17-Feb-84 02:35:05 EST
References: <3883@gatech.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Information Systems, Lincroft NJ
Lines: 44

I changed my name (to Avi) when I was seven. I have kept it ever since, and
even had it legally changed by a JUDGE when I went through the formality of
becoming a citizen. My parents had originally given me the nice Romanian
name of "Emeric", but never got around to telling me! Maybe they were
ashamed. They were forced to give "Romanian" names (isn't communism
wonderful!!!!!!) but always used a variant of my Hebrew name (for religious
purposes) which is Avraham. (No, I did not spell Abraham wrong! This is the
correct Hebrew spelling/pronounciation). When I first found out (from my
"green card") I complained strenuously. I just did not feel any
identification to this alien name.

This did cause me problems when I crossed out "Emeric" each year on my
report card -- and replaced it with "Avi". Each new year, a new report card
showed Emeric again. In sixth grade, the school caved in without comment and
began to use my new name. Needless to say, I kept Emeric as a middle
initial. I have been tempted to get rid of the name "Gross" (originally
Grosz, but my parents changed that when we arrived) because of the terrible
meaning in English. I prefer definitions like "12 dozen", to the unpleasant
definitions. However, I doubt that my parents would understand a change to
"Grossman" or "Grossberg" or even "Grossinger", let alone "Tiffany-Smythe".

I gave my wife-to-be the choice of keeping her maiden name, but she actually
is willing to trade in "Diamond" for "Gross"! Needless to say, my kids will
all be Gross. :-) Once we choose a name for them, it may be difficult to let
them change it. My parents still call me "Abi", at times, even though they
know I hate being called that (too childish). Maybe a good solution is to
just give kids initials (like T.S. Garp) and let them fill in the details
when they feel like it.

One final comment. I know my parents will try to get me to name kids after
any one of dozens of relatives who died during world war two. Since they
were all European, I shudder at even trying to give an American kid some of
those names. We will probably compromise and give them whatever Hebrew name
my parents want, and a normal American name (or MODERN Hebrew name) that
starts with the same letter. How have other people responded to parental
demands for naming?

P.S. In retrospect, I probably picked a terrible name from an American
perspective. Some people think I am female, and few can pronounce it
(something like "Ah-vee") properly. Maybe I should have picked a name like
my brother dAVId -- who has my name embedded in his.
-- 
-=> Avi E. Gross @ AT&T Information Systems Laboratories (201) 576-6241
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