Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site wateng.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!wateng!jvenner From: jvenner@wateng.UUCP (Jason P. Venner) Newsgroups: net.kids,net.motss Subject: Child sexuality, incest and trauma Message-ID: <702@wateng.UUCP> Date: Fri, 3-Feb-84 04:11:40 EST Article-I.D.: wateng.702 Posted: Fri Feb 3 04:11:40 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 8-Feb-84 01:01:06 EST Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario Lines: 74 [Please mailers, leave this line alone] In my opinion, the repressive sexual mores of Puritan based cultures are responsible for the trauma that often occurs after incest, and or expressed child sexuality. Most children that I have encountered who's parents fall into the follow- ing categories: ________________________________________________________________ |over thirty at (the childs) birth | |______________________________________________________________| |moderately (or more deeply) dogmaticly involved with | |a repressive religion | |______________________________________________________________| |send their children to a religiously oriented school system | |______________________________________________________________| |obviously extremely uncomfortable with any aspect of sexuality| |______________________________________________________________| Are usually very self conscious of what is "bad" and what is "good" by the age of seven or eight. They may be aware of it earlier, but I, perhaps because of difficulties with communication, am unable to tell. They (the children) are presented with, and acting out the confused and guilt ridden life styles of their role models. When these children are exposed to sexual activity, there is usually an expressed desire for secrecy on the part of the adult involved. This secrecy is (usually) presented in a manner that indicates that it is some- thing to be ashamed of. I think that the primary cause of any trauma (not just the ones currently under discussion) is the occurrence of a gross contradiction to the logic that a child views the world. In this case we have children taught that: _______________________________________________________ |sex | |______________________________________________________ |sexual behavior (which may include teasing) | |______________________________________________________ |anything that is (reasonably strongly) associated| |with sex | |______________________________________________________ is "bad." We also have an adult, who may be the childs parent, engaging in something that is known (by the child) to be "bad". This adult is probably trying to require secrecy, another indicator of "badness". Needless to say, I would say that this situation is likely to cause situations which the child has no easy rational explanation for, and has to deal with in some other (usually less desirous fashion). In my opinion, this is the real cause of traumas. _______________________________________________________________________________ [Things worthy of note] When I speak of religion, I am primarily talking about ones that have their roots in judaism. I do not have enough experience with other religions to make statements (in this context) about them. The logic that I speak of, are the rules that the child has learned about how it is to interact with the world, and how the world interacts with it. I personally do not see things as inherently evil, and inherently good. I try to see things as cause and effect and shades of gray. I personally had my first sexual experience at age six or seven. Luckily for me, my parents had not instilled a strong guilt complex associated with sexuality, even though, I knew enough to keep it secret. I am not aware of any problems arising from these encounters. -- yours sincerely, Jason P. Venner physical mail: Integrated Studies, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario., Canada. N2L 3G1 UUCP: {allegra, decvax, cbosg, teklabs,linus, sunybcs}!watmath!wateng!jvenner