From: utzoo!dciem!martin Newsgroups: net.jokes Title: An oldie: The Bang Bang Joke Article-I.D.: dciem.200 Posted: Tue Mar 1 17:39:19 1983 Received: Wed Mar 2 10:03:09 1983 A soldier fighting in the trenches notices that all his fellows have rifles, but he has none. He mentions this politely to his commander, and asks if something can't be done. His commander knows that there are no more guns, so he takes a broom, breaks off the head, and hands the handle to the soldier. "What am I to do with this?" asks the soldier. "Use it as a gun." replies his commander. "Point it at the enemy, and make the sound of gunfire. Have faith in the power of positive thinking, and you will do well." The soldier is not at all certain about this, but doesn't get much time to think about it, because the enemy has begun an advance against them. Taking up his weapon, the soldier points it at an advancing enemy soldier, and shouts "Bangity Bang!", whereupon the enemy falls. Pointing at another, he again shouts "Bangity Bang!" and fells another enemy soldier. Needless to say, he is quite pleased with the results, and continues at some length, slaying enemy after enemy. At one point, however, he points at an enemy soldier, and shouts "Bangity Bang!", but the soldier doesn't fall. He takes more careful aim, and tries again ... to no avail. The enemy is getting closer and closer, and the soldier continues pointing his 'gun', and shouting, louder and louder, "Bangity Bang! Bangity Bang!". Finally, the enemy soldier runs right into him, bowling him over backward in the mud, and continues on. And the poor soldier, lying in the mud, gazing up at the sky hears only "Tankity Tank! Tankity Tank".